What to do if the guy does not give gifts. Why does a man not give gifts. A man does not give gifts - show emotions correctly

Why do some men even on such big holidays as birthdays and March 8 do not give gifts? Not to mention the pleasant everyday little things and surprises that girls love so much. Is romance limited to the coffee-bouquet period? Conquered and relaxed? Is there a way to subtly "stimulate" a lover to give gifts?

Common reasons for this behavior:

1. I am the best gift.

Sometimes the most tender, caring married lover does not notice the lady's need for additional signs attention. Psychologist John Gray has studied relationships for years using numbers as examples. couples. He described the experience gained in the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", where he confirmed the theory that representatives of different sexes see the world differently.

For a partner, a passion for new clothes, huge bouquets and pleasant little things seems frivolous. The classic male position: “I give her myself, love, care, my own time, what else does she need?” Some specimens value their sexual abilities so highly that they can easily say: “she has had enough pleasure from“ stormy nights of passion ”, why should I pay for sex with unnecessary knick-knacks?”

2. Greed.

Or, as the guy himself would say, thrift, thrift. The young lady's desire to get something other than sex raises suspicion of self-interest. Being sufficiently wealthy, this type of people simply does not want to spend money on the object of passion. At best, he gives cheap trinkets, feeling at least the hero of a ladies' novel.

3. Short-term communication.

If a lover does not spoil you with presents, restrained in compliments and you feel a certain “chill” in his behavior, then he does not plan a long-term relationship. Perhaps you do not suit him as a woman. The guy is looking for a more suitable option. Of course, the beloved will never admit it.

4. Financial difficulties.

The objective reason is temporary problems in business or at work. Wait out this period and the fan will again show generosity. Difficulties, if they are not permanent, only strengthen the relationship of the couple.

5. Conquered peak.

Achieved your attention, conquered and relaxed. Why do anything if the woman is already mine?

6. Fear of not pleasing.

Picky girls are often too demanding. Not wanting to upset his beloved or anger him with an objectionable present, the fan decides to do without such surprises.

7. Nothing is needed.

Modesty adorns a person. But sometimes we confuse it with indecision, insecurity, shyness. Remember, the strong half of humanity does not understand hints, does not know how to read between the lines. No "me myself". Perhaps you answered the question about the desired gift with the typical phrases “nothing is needed”, “the main thing is attention”, completely forgetting that your loved one takes everything literally.

What am I doing wrong?

Why doesn't my lover give me anything? Faced with a problem, the young lady often does not know how to promote her lover for gifts and not seem intrusive.

Relationships are never without problems. However, these problems can serve as a source of mutual resentment, alienation, and a reason for even greater rapprochement, strengthening love, trust, and caring. — Gray John, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Should a lover give a young lady presents? If you consider the gentleman as a sponsor, patron, the answer is obvious. There is an opinion that this is necessary for personal growth, realizes the potential, increases the partner's self-esteem. Guys need to be aware of their significance, importance, feel like a hero for a lady of the heart. A smart young lady will always take advantage of this.

Sometimes the fair sex tries to compensate for the lack of attention with expensive things, and the partner simply "pays off".

The top three reasons, from a guy's point of view, why he gives gifts are:

1. Gratitude for sex.
2. Demonstration of the value, significance of the partner.
3. The desire to bind to oneself even more, to evoke a sense of duty, reciprocity.

The art of manipulation, effective techniques

How to make a lover give gifts to his mistress? There are five little female secrets on how to ask a fan for a gift.

The first is that it’s not worth rejoicing at the thing itself, but at the desire of your loved one to please you, to make you feel good. Emotions must be sincere. Give thanks even for the little things. A real delight, laudatory odes stimulate to make such surprises more often, to feel like a hero for a lady of the heart.

The second is to put pressure on pity. It’s spring outside, it’s warm, and you are so dreaming about that lovely dress from the new collection ... In winter, looking at the windows with fur coats, you are shaking from the cold, because your old coat was worn out, isn’t it time to warm up? Demonstrate a broken mobile phone from which you could not get through to your beloved for an hour when his help was needed.

Only such an acquisition can make you happy, and the husband thinks only of himself, an egoist. Believe me, a lover will want to demonstrate that his wife is better, and in the near future you will become the owner of a wonderful new thing.

The third is to ask your lover directly.

Try to avoid demands, extortion.

Gently, without ultimatums, not afraid to show weakness. Psychologists say that best time for such a conversation, when the partner is in a great mood. A well-fed, sexually satisfied “happy lion” is more prone to generosity than a tired and irritated one.

Casually mention that the desired dress has a back zipper. If you unzip it, the new thing falls right to your feet, exposing your hips. The guy's fantasy and the tendency to "love with the eyes" will do everything for you.

Use the tricky "from largest to smallest" trick. For example: “Kitty, you promised me to buy that lovely dress from the show. While there is no possibility? Okay, then at least take these cute shoes, they are just my size. If the gentleman is categorical, be wiser. Perhaps the moment for such a conversation was not chosen correctly.

Practice the "hungry cat" practice. The fluffy beauty is not offended by the refusal, on the contrary, she becomes affectionate, rubs against her leg, and purrs gently. Under such a soft, but persistent pressure, even a person with a stone heart cannot resist. Position the man towards you, show that you appreciate him, show care: “Darling, you are a little excited today. Let me make your favorite strong coffee with milk, cheer up.”

Fourth - consult with a partner, demonstrate his significance, trust in impeccable taste. What dress would you like to see in the evening? What kind of jewelry will emphasize the beauty more favorably? Such behavior will add confidence, tell you which present will definitely please you. Practice joint shopping or arrange gift cards with a choice of goods.

And finally, the fifth secret. Donate, take the initiative. It is not necessary to choose expensive things, you can limit yourself to small pleasant things that remind you of your love. This will push the gentleman to respond in kind. You can subtly hint what you would like to buy, but there is still not enough time and finances.

If you have used the entire arsenal, but the attempts were in vain, think about it. Perhaps it's time to look for a more generous man, or put up with it and just enjoy the relationship.

Video

My husband doesn't give me presents. In general, none and never! Why? - For all the time, however, my husband gave me one big postcard and a flower ... also one. Why was it not enough for "more"? What's wrong? Why doesn't he want to? Maybe I didn't deserve this kind of attention? Or maybe something is wrong with me as a wife?

Women explain and suggest:

• Lisa:

Maybe he just doesn't want to give them, is that all? There is such nonsense in life, what can you do ....

• Kate:

Why are you lowering your self-esteem? He does not give, because the goat is tactless! Forgive me for talking about your spouse, but I will never accept and understand this! A woman deserves attention in the form of gifts!

• Rita:

And he is not a miser - a greedy man? There are people who spare money even for the smallest trifles! I have personally encountered these. Thank God my boyfriend is not like that.

• Sveta:

He probably does not love you, but is waiting for some kind of benefit. I don't see any other reasons. God forbid I'm wrong.

• Lily:

Because you don't ask for gifts! Ask - give. And get used to it... He will give himself, without reminders and without requests!

Really! Men don't even understand hints! They always need to speak directly to them. And then wait!

• Mila:

Don't talk about it, don't make a fuss - he thinks it suits you. All men need to say!

• Vita:

He buys all gifts for mistresses and just women. And he forgets about you. I'm sorry I'm being so direct....

• Kate:

I'm shocked! You can't give, can you? Friends - advisers full of .... There are, apparently, those who themselves don’t give anything to their halves.

• Sonya:

If the husband does not give gifts, then he considered that he did not need to give something, since he gives you money for expenses. Haven't thought about it?

He has a “zero” mood for gifts…. Or maybe you don’t give him anything, so he treats you like that? I just don't know you or your spouse... And plainly say, therefore, I can not do anything.

Do you leave money for gifts to buy? He may not have anything left, so he does not buy.

• Zhenya:

Hello! Hello! Talk to your spouse! And then I feel sorry for you very, very .... You will remember this one unfortunate flower and this one postcard as something out of the ordinary. And this is commendable! But, it's okay that you deserve something more, huh? Think! Does not give - underestimates. Or he doesn't love you that much.

He's saving up for a car. Or something else... And he doesn’t tell you to do something pleasant later. Wait a little more, since until now you have had the patience to wait.

• Mayan:

Exactly! He wanted to “fill up” you with jewels, girl. This is where finances come in. Glad you don't ask... Hold off with questions and scandals.

He had a mistress... Sadly. She gets all the gifts! What can you do…. Men are different. And people like yours too... Humble yourself. Or quit. Or talk to him frankly about everything. What courage is enough .... Do that! But you shouldn't pay attention to love here.

• Sveta:

Probably, he thinks that you rejoice at such a gift as an engagement ring. And nothing else is given. "Enough with her" - thoughts flash through him.

Takes offense at you for something. Or wait until you say what you need. He does not want to give unnecessary gifts. That's why it's "cautious". I would understand his “not giving” gifts.

He thinks you have a lover. He dreams that you will "split", and he, as a reward, will give you gifts. I don't blame infidelity. I'm just giving my guess.

• Frosya:

Yes, you probably have so many things that it is lost .... He doesn't know what you really need. He doesn't want to donate what he doesn't need. I understand it.

Why don't you give gifts? Because strange. Or greed does not allow him to do this. Or he spends all his savings purely on his whims. Or he was fired from his job with a normal one, but he is afraid to admit it.

He is afraid that he will give something, and requests will begin to grow, for which he does not have enough money. Therefore, it does not indulge in something "gift". Or, he is afraid that he will buy a thing that is not very expensive, and you tell your friends about it (complain). And they will decide that the husband is greedy terribly.

• Fields:

He is sure that you will manage without gifts. Well, keep quiet - everything is fine. I would have thought the same in his place.

• Zina:

He has a mistress. I myself was in the same situation... He married me and dated someone else. Naturally, I divorced him when I got to the bottom of the truth. And he asked (on his knees) to do without a divorce and start all over again. It’s hard for me to believe that I will be the one and only with him.

• Ruslana:

You buy yourself a lot, and your spouse thinks that nothing else will please you. They react very painfully (they are men) if their gifts and souvenirs are not appreciated enthusiastically and sincerely.

• Galya:

Doesn't know what you like. Or he didn’t like your reaction to the gifts that he “managed” to give you. Or offended by you .... Here you can change your mind a lot, but you can not get to the point.

Girl, drive such a hubby! He will take you completely... I feel so sorry for you that tears well up in my eyes .... Does not love….

• Elma:

Does not love! Would love - give! That's for sure. My husband loves me. He knows that I collect all sorts of figurines, and often buys them for me. All shelves are filled with them.

• Marina:

Drop it! He is not a man! How can you not give gifts? Just do not need now to remember the flower and the postcard! That was a long time ago! He does not give because he does not appreciate you. And in you, through his fault, complexes are born.

• Dina:

Do you often give gifts to him? This is also important... I am not writing this to offend you. It's just that many women think and say that only men should give gifts to women. On the contrary, it is not necessary!

• Faith:

My husband doesn't give me anything either. I do not take offense at this, because I am already very good. My husband is my most wonderful gift. And I am not a gift to him. And you are probably in a very similar situation.

• Fields:

So I think…. The husband does not give gifts because he does not have money for very expensive gifts, and he is ashamed to buy some trinkets. He prefers, in this case, to give nothing at all. And he doesn't think about whether it's right or not.

Every woman wants to receive gifts. This is how we are arranged, we really love male attention. But, unfortunately, the reality is not so romantic. Very often a man "forgets" to give flowers, gifts, does not give compliments. And this does not mean at all that he has no money, he is mean or does not love. Most likely, he simply does not know that you need it and that it is important to you.

Another reason may be that women and men have completely different ideas about gifts. Here is a woman, for example, waiting for something romantic, unusual. Well, for example, a gold pendant, a ring, an unusual declaration of love. A man even considers a bottle of wine a present. If this situation does not suit you, then stop hinting, it is better to say directly what you would like.

They do not like to give gifts to independent women. After all, by such behavior a woman makes it clear that she does not need anything. Psychologists have proven that men simply adore when they are idolized. Give a man the opportunity to be strong and get much more. How do you receive gifts? Restrained and unemotional? Mutter something like, “Thank you, but you could have done without the gift”? Or joyfully throw yourself on your neck? Believe me, a man reads emotions. And it is much more pleasant for him to give a gift to one who rejoices in this. Kiss him and sincerely rejoice even at what you do not need at all. This will cheer him up and cheer him up. Look and give what you dream of.

Many are of the opinion that men are simply not sentimental, or that he simply did not have an example in childhood. Of course, it may be so, but it is doubtful. Even if it is not customary for his family to give presents and bring joy to loved ones, then next to a worthy woman, he will learn to do it himself.

Another reason why a man does not give gifts is elementary greed. Yes Yes! Even rich and wealthy men can be very greedy. Such a man will never give anything just like that. He counts every ruble, every penny and believes that giving a woman not only small gifts, but also flowers is a luxury. There are only two ways out: either to accept and understand that it is morally difficult for him to part with gifts, or he will have to part so as not to torment himself and him. The main thing to remember is that a greedy man will never change. So maybe not worth wasting your precious time? After all, being the wife of a greedy man is a nightmare. After all, you will not only have to forget about flowers and gifts, but also about good clothes, expensive cosmetics, perfumes. You will have to report every day for every penny as a loser at a meeting. You can't re-educate a greedy man!

Well, the last reason is the most banal. Men just don't go shopping. More precisely, not so, they then go, but only when you need to buy something specific. And believe me, even if he comes to the store, he will absolutely not look at windows and look at all sorts of trinkets. He just doesn't notice them. That's the way the male brain works.

Women, dear, if you want your man to carry you in his arms and spoil you, then be gentle, feminine and sweet. Help your loved one become a gentleman. And give gifts yourself. After all, men love attention too!

For women, gifts from a beloved man are one of the signs of love, care and attention. Of course, all the fair sex love to receive gifts with or without occasion! But what to do if he does not show such attention?

The reasons why a man does not give gifts to his woman lie not only in the forgetfulness, stinginess or inattention of the gentleman. They can hide in the behavior of women themselves. So, where to look for the ends of this problem?

Different concepts of gifts

Some women do not consider a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates a gift. This, in their opinion, most likely, should be an addition to the main present. Men, on the other hand, think differently - everything that he does and gives to his woman with love and joy is a gift. Some representatives of the stronger sex, for various reasons, sometimes simply do not think about what else could please them besides a bouquet or sweets. If your apartment is already completely filled with bouquets, and you have gained a couple of extra pounds from sweets, then hint to him that you would be more pleased.

Independence

There is a type of women who like to emphasize their independence and autonomy. This comes to the point that they themselves have to fix the faucet in the kitchen and carry heavy bags from the store. We must not forget that every man wants to be close to a weak woman in order to protect and protect her, while feeling like a real knight. So if you pay for yourself in cafes and restaurants, share your expenses with your husband in half and do not accept even a slight dependence on your partner, then continue to think further about why you are not given gifts. Let your loved one show generosity, take care of yourself.

The man does not know what to give

You should not hope that your man will understand the hints that you want to receive from him for the holiday. Speak directly and clearly, you can even write a list. So you make things easier for yourself and for him.

He forgot about an important date

It often happens that the representatives of the stronger sex simply forget about important dates and holidays. So if you notice memory lapses in your partner, start discussing the upcoming event with him in advance.

Failure to accept gifts

There are people who simply do not know how to accept gifts. Such phrases like “It wasn’t worth it”, “It wasn’t necessary to spend money” and others will eventually discourage a man from any desire to please you with gifts.

He has no money

On the one hand, a woman should enter into the position of her man - there are situations in life in which, to put it mildly, there is no time for gifts at all. At such times, it is important to support your loved one in every way. But even in this case, you should not relieve him of responsibility! A pleasant gift can also be considered something for which, in fact, money is not needed - a bouquet of wild flowers, breakfast in bed, cooked dinner, etc.

You yourself do not give him anything, but only demand

And what do you give your beloved and do you give him gifts at all? For men, as for women, reciprocity is very important. He will be pleased if you also periodically give him something that will please him. He certainly won't be in debt.

It is impossible to exclude the case that a man can simply turn out to be mean. Then no means will help to promote him for gifts, since he is more interested in his own wallet, and not his beloved woman. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

Alas, a woman cannot manage with just words about love. A mandatory attribute of a relationship, and the manifestation of one's feelings are gifts. Of course, during the candy-bouquet period, almost all men try to please a woman and pamper her with gifts in order to win her heart, and sometimes her hand. But, alas, once the candy-bouquet period ends and gifts often end with it ... Women's magazine Charla decided to find out why some men don't give gifts to your loved ones, and what to do to correct this “little” misunderstanding.

So, you ended up in the group of those unfortunates for whom a gift shines on the DR, well, on March 8, after you unambiguously make it clear to your loved one that it would be nice to give you a pleasant surprise. Of course, you will receive flowers, a gift, and on this ... a man's duty is fulfilled for the whole year, until the next DR or the next March 8th.

Listening to the stories of your friends about how their men are used to spoiling them with gifts like this for no reason, you just sigh sadly and close your eyes, or run to make a scandal with the words “But Tanya’s husband gave this and that, and you haven’t given me anything for a whole year…". But, let's calmly and soberly figure out why a man does not give you gifts. Perhaps by analyzing your relationship and your situation, you will find a way out and begin to better understand your loved one.

A man does not give gifts. He just doesn't think about it.

Don't assume that your man doesn't appreciate or love you just because he doesn't give you gifts. It is possible that he simply did not think about it. Yes Yes. Alas, men are often not as attentive as women, and think more globally, losing sight of the details that are extremely important to us, women. For example, a man can ignore your hint “Oh, the Chanel bottle is running out” and not even think about the fact that it would not hurt to replenish the perfume reserves of his beloved. This is not at all because he does not want to give gifts, it's just that for him it is not so significant compared to his other actions.

What to do in such a situation? Just talk. If man does not give gifts out of ignorance (and this, yes, it happens), just tell your loved one how pleasant it is for you to receive small surprises from him, that you attach importance to this. Your man will definitely understand you and listen to your words.

A man does not give gifts. Doesn't feel like doing it

If in the first situation, in order for a man to start giving, he just needs to be pushed to this by talking about his desire, then the situation when a man does not give gifts without considering it necessary is much more complicated.

If your a man does not give you gifts and at the same time, he sincerely believes that he is not doing anything wrong and even right, then, of course, you have little chance of correcting him. Of course, you can call him for a frank conversation and find out why he decided that gifts are an insignificant and unnecessary matter, and, based on what he heard, move on. Very often, men take an example from their parental family.

Your husband's father never spoiled his mother with gifts and limited himself to three carnations on March 8, his mother, in turn, was not very upset or pretended not to be upset - and now your husband or lover follows this model. He may sincerely not understand why a woman should give gifts and what is there to be offended at all.

For some men, gifts are not a manifestation of love and feelings, because compared to what he does for you, for example, making money, this is nonsense. Therefore, you may well buy a gift yourself, making yourself pleasant. Unfortunately, such an opinion is a well-established position of a man and it is quite difficult to influence him in this case. Therefore, the most correct thing you can do is take the money and buy yourself a gift yourself!

A man does not give gifts. You yourself had a hand in this

Very often, women complain that their men have stopped giving them gifts, although they once did it often and, moreover, with great pleasure. An interesting fact is that often women themselves are to blame for this and, without noticing it, they repulsed a man’s desire to give gifts.

A man does not give gifts? Do you remember the last time you liked his gift? Have you told him that he gave you a thing that is absolutely useless to you? Yes, yes, very often men do not give gifts precisely because they are afraid of not pleasing you. And if you also let him know a couple of times that his gift is not what you would like or like, the desire to give you gifts may disappear for a long time.

Another common female mistake is to scold her husband for an expensive gift. He gave you a bag, and you told him - “for this money you could buy a couple of pots, a bag of potatoes ...” and so on. Or the husband gives you a romantic gift, and you give him - "it could have been something more practical." Over time, a man may develop an opinion that gifts should be inexpensive, and even better practical, and so that all family members can use them. As a result, on the DR you get a washing machine, on March 8 a frying pan. For that fought for it and ran!

A man does not give gifts. He's just a greedy

Alas, not only inattentive men come across, but also greedy ones. Yes Yes. A man does not give gifts? Perhaps he just feels sorry for wasting money on such a trifle.

What to do in such a situation? If your relationship has just begun, you should consider whether it is necessary to continue it, whether you are ready to be with such a man. Well, if you have been with this man for a long time, you have no choice but to just put up with it. IN Eventually, for sure it has other positive qualities for which you chose it.

Victoria Vysotskaya