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A man does not want a serious relationship what to do. Why a man does not want a relationship and what to do. Why a man does not want a relationship with a woman with a child

Cunning, of course, and now we will tell you exactly how.

In general, for a man, there will probably never be a “right” or “suitable” time when he will be downright ready for a relationship. They are in no hurry to say goodbye to their freedom.

The only case when a man wants a relationship is when he thinks that he cannot lose this particular woman, and the very thought that she can be with another does not give him rest.

How is this possible? You can try to become such a woman for him. And, above all, you need to correctly respond to what he says: "I'm not ready yet."

1. Say, "I understand."

If he says that he does not want any serious relationship yet, just tell him: "I understand you." And that's it, nothing more. Don't argue, don't try to convince him.

Pause, wait, be quiet, and then in response, the man usually begins to make excuses and explain his reasons.

He will feel relieved that you understand him, relax and open up to you (unless, of course, he is a normal man, and not just a womanizer).

2. Refrain from having sex with him.

After he decides that you understand him and are not trying to change him, he will want to sleep with you. When it becomes obvious to you, tell him what you like about him and what you appreciate about him.

And then the magic words: “I made a promise to myself not to have sex without a serious relationship. I understand your position, but you understand mine.

Here he must be subdued by your virtue, confidence and dignity, so he wants to become your hero. These are the women that men marry.

3. And don't say anything else.

Now he may start arguing with you, but you just calmly answer: "I understand." You sowed the seed and, believe me, he heard you.

You let him know what you want out of life in principle, and not specifically from him. And you gave him the opportunity, without too much pressure, to think that the relationship with you is his idea. Because you know that if not him, then it will be with someone else, and he does not want this anymore.

Of course, it takes patience to pull this off, but it usually works. Good luck!

At first there was a slight flirtation, then a burning passion, and then the relationship came to a standstill. Many couples face this problem - the transition to a higher level often becomes difficult for men. And here a problem arises - it turns out that he simply does not want a serious relationship, but he is in no hurry to let go of his chosen one.

The reasons

Many girls and women, who at first glance seem to be in a serious relationship, do not even suspect that as a result they risk being left with nothing. A young man may show multiple signs of attention, try to be loving and caring, but not cross the line of ordinary lovers.

This alignment is quite common in young couples - the girl is waiting for the missus to make her an offer of marriage, but the guy is in no hurry at all. Over time, the fuse of the relationship begins to slowly fade. Conflict situations arise on this basis, unjustified expectations, which develop into disappointment. As a result, a painful break in relations and a long reluctance to start something new for both partners.

To understand the nature of such male behavior, one should understand the reasons for not wanting to enter into a serious relationship.

Habit. This is the case when the betrothed is sure that you will not get away from him anywhere. He is used to the fact that his beloved is always there - in sorrow and joy. Such a man does not take any important steps just because he knows that the other half will be at hand in any case, even if she does not have exact guarantees for a joint future.
Convenience. It is easy and comfortable for a young man in the conditions in which he is now. Why complicate things? The girl already meets him with a hot dinner and a tender kiss, they are always waiting at home - why the imposed formalities?
Pressure. Many young ladies make a huge mistake, constantly getting their lover talking about marriage. “Von Masha has been married for two years, and their children are so beautiful. And I'm sitting in the girls and waiting for the weather by the sea. When will you decide to get married? Men get goosebumps from such conversations, and they, in turn, run away from such annoying ladies because of this.
Eternal bachelor. Representatives of this type in every possible way protect themselves from serious and long-term relationships. They do not consider the option "in sorrow and in joy until death do us part." It is important for a bachelor man to feel his freedom, which, in their opinion, is not even discussed in married life.
Guardianship. Sometimes the representatives of the stronger sex confuse female care with intrusive guardianship. It seems to them that the girl begins to control all areas of his life. As if in early childhood he was told to “put on a hat” or “don’t go out late.” It is difficult for a man to spend his free time with such a half - it seems to him that in any convenient situation, she will again begin to “nag” him and take care of him too obsessively.
Influence of friends. In a male company, where most guys have not yet entered into a serious relationship, a young man will not want to stand out. In addition, jokes may arise from his comrades that he was hounded and deprived of the right to choose. He will begin to protest and, in order to prove his independence, he will rather prefer the company of friends than strong marriage ties.
Bitter experience. If we are talking about a man who has already experienced a difficult breakup or even a divorce, then the fear of stepping on the same rake does not seem so surprising. Most likely, he is driven by the fear of such betrayal and disappointment, which prevents him from offering the girl something more than just a good time.

In the video below, you can see the male point of view of the fear of a serious relationship.

Behavior of a woman in this situation

Understanding that the relationship has reached its maximum does not come immediately. At first, such a union seems ideal - a man is always there, provides support, listens and understands. He shows love and care with all his being, but at the same time keeps his distance.

Over time, the girl gets tired of being "at arm's length" and she will definitely try to take a step towards something more. Depending on the character, a woman can do it slowly and carefully, or at one moment declare her displeasure to the chosen one.

Important! Such drastic movements are unlikely to lead to success. The obstinate representative of the stronger sex will try to protect himself from external pressure, and will begin to hide from dialogues, like a snail in its shell.

The best strategy in this situation is to be cautious. It is not necessary to “nag” every day with conversations in the style of “what we are moving towards”. Conversations of this kind will only push your soul mate even further, forming an abyss of misunderstanding between you.

If you begin to notice that the spark is fading, and the chosen one is gradually moving away, you should try to add “fresh air” to the usual rhythm of life.

Ways to revive relationships

You cannot keep a man who is bored next to you. By nature, each representative of the stronger sex is a true conqueror. He is ready to conquer the lady of the heart all his life, but for this she needs to stir up his interest day by day.

If you feel that, despite the lack of initiative of the partner, these relationships have a chance for a happy future, you should fight for them. Try to bring in life together something new and fall in love with him again. To do this, you can use one or all of the recommendations of psychologists at once.

Stop being offended. No man endures women's grievances over trifles. Girls sometimes exaggerate minor quarrels and misunderstandings, interpreting this as disrespect for themselves or as a way to “hurt a nerve”. But most often, men simply do not attach importance to their statements in the direction of their loved ones, so they sincerely do not understand when they are sent to spend the night on the sofa because of the joke that the girl has short fingers.
Become a true friend. For the representative of the stronger sex, it is very important that his chosen one takes all his positive and negative sides. Only with a girl friend will he be able to share his experiences and feel comfortable. It is this approach to relationships that will help make them stronger and more reliable.
Stay little girl. Every guy wants to be a guardian angel for his soul mate. He is ready to take care and patronize her, so let the man be stronger. Do not try to control it, impose your own thoughts and demand something.
Be interesting. As soon as a woman becomes an open book, in which the whole plot becomes clear even at the moment of the preface, the man immediately closes it. Discover new sides of yourself - don't be afraid to experiment with hobbies, go for walks with friends and don't reduce the whole world to your soulmate.
Don't put restrictions. Human psychology in this regard is very simple - "forbidden fruit is always sweet." As soon as you establish a taboo on any actions of your lover, he will immediately want to go against you. Do not limit his freedom of action, and he will become the most faithful and grateful for this.
Trust. This applies to all areas of life together. For example, you should not nag a guy for going on a business trip with his pretty secretary - he will not cheat until you yourself give him such an idea. The same applies to household issues. Let him make important decisions, even if they don't always seem right to you.

How to understand that there is no point in fighting

Not always the above recommendations will be useful. It may happen that the main reason for not wanting to enter into a serious relationship is that you just fell out of love. But at the same time, the man will not be in a hurry to go “free swimming”. It is very important to recognize this transition from love to indifference in time.

Not always such a change in the perception of the once beloved woman will be obvious. But it can be recognized by the following features.

He began to spend more time outside the home.
In bed, there is no longer the usual passion.
There are frequent quarrels over trifles.
The man took out his anger on you.
The chosen one constantly argues and disagrees with you even in the most elementary situations.
The young man stopped sharing with you important events from your life.

In addition to the above, there are some more points by which you can understand that the relationship has exhausted itself. You can see them in the video below.

If you notice similar behavior in your soul mate, you should think - is the game worth the candle? Perhaps the best option for you would be to end such a relationship. Such a decision is worth considering and weighing all the pros and cons, but by taking this step, you can discover something more serious and meaningful.

How to break a hopeless union

Understanding that you have fallen out of love is very painful. The acceptance of this situation will not happen at once - it is very important not to close yourself in, protecting yourself from the outside world, but to try to look at the situation from a different angle.

You need to decide to leave the person who does not love you as quickly as possible. Do not torture yourself with relationships that probably have no future. There are several recommendations on how to minimize suffering at such an important moment.

Love yourself. Did you deserve such an attitude? All this time, the man used and manipulated you, keeping you "on a short leash." It is very important to understand that the feelings have passed and now he perceives you as a habit, and not as a girlfriend.
Find a hobby you love. Doing what you love will allow you to protect yourself from constant thoughts about ex man. Thus, you will plunge headlong into something new and take your free time.
Enjoy the moment. It cannot be said that during this period you will be very happy, but you should try to squeeze the maximum out of this time. Left alone, spend your leisure time the way you want it. If earlier you rarely saw your friends, now you have no restrictions on this.
Start a new romance. Most likely, you will not be ready for a serious relationship right away. But light flirting and understanding that men are interested in you will only benefit after a hard break.

Most likely, the news that you want to stop dating a guy will stun him. He will try to give arguments why you should not do this. Perhaps he will try to return you and temporarily “blur” his eyes, showing increased interest in you.

The likelihood that by returning to him, you will get a second chance to start a family, is almost zero. At first, the young man will try in every possible way to keep his beloved, to look after her, as if the relationship had just begun.

But after some time everything will fall into place - people do not change and he will not be an exception to this rule. If your man did not want a serious relationship before, then he will not want them now. His attempts to maintain such a union will turn out to be just a fear of loneliness.

It is very important to understand that a breakup has its own stages that should be experienced. You can see them in the video below.

Therefore, if the decision to break the unpromising relationship was carefully considered and balanced, go to the end. Do not remember happy moments from your life together and do not allow thoughts “what if I am wrong” in your head.

Remember that by stopping something old and meaningless, you open up for new relationships that will definitely succeed in the future.

It often happens that a guy does not want a relationship. This becomes a real tragedy for many girls. But is it worth it to panic ahead of time and what to do in such situations?

If we consider the advice of experts, we can distinguish two main positions that should be followed:

The guy is simply not ready for a relationship yet and wants to delay entering into a life together. What to do in such a situation? You should understand your loved one and give him time to fully realize that it is time to start a family. It is very important in no case to put pressure on your beloved morally, as this will only make him more doubtful that he wants to live together with you. . The guy does not want a serious relationship? Give him some time and everything will work out. Do not try to persuade the young person to go one step further if in fact the young person himself has not made such a decision. Just be patient and wait for your loved one to take a step towards living together. You will definitely create a strong family, but for this you will need to wait a bit.
The second position is that the guy simply does not want to move to a new level, he basically does not need a relationship, and he wants to remain independent. What is a girl to do in this case? If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship, just break up with him and find a worthy replacement. Although if you yourself do not count on something more, you can continue to meet, but be sure that this will lead you to a dead end. Look for someone who will be ready to develop your relationship, albeit gradually, but surely.

Why is the guy against a relationship?

The guy does not want a relationship, what should a girl do in such a situation? The most important thing is to understand the reason for this behavior. For example, in many situations, guys just don’t like something in a girl, they are afraid of something, or they lack something. All this is fixable, the main thing is to strive for the best and try to solve everything in time. Here are a number of reasons why your loved one refuses to move to a new stage:

He is afraid of responsibility. For example, if we talk about serious relationships, then they mean living together. Not everyone is able to take this step right away. Perhaps you are just rushing things, and your boyfriend has not had time to get used to you. Give each other some time to get comfortable. This can sometimes take six months, but nothing can be done. Before starting a serious relationship is unlikely to succeed.
Another point why the guy does not want a relationship is that he doubts you. You may not always be at your best. How to solve such problems? Only through conversation will you be able to understand what needs to be changed in each other, so that in the end there is the possibility of creating an ideal couple. Prove to your boyfriend that you are the best, after which he will have no reason to doubt further relationships.
Perhaps the guy doubts you in terms of the fact that you often give reasons for jealousy. Try to prove that you will remain faithful in any situation. Your young man will definitely appreciate this and will certainly decide on such a step as living together.
The young man may simply be afraid to disappoint you. For example, he may not have an apartment, which sometimes worries a lot. Suddenly your boyfriend is worried that you will have nowhere to live? This position must be understood. It would be right to talk with your loved one to say that you are ready to go through any difficulties, but only together. Together, you will surely quickly achieve unprecedented success.

When can you start a relationship?

And now it’s worth sorting out the question of how to understand that a guy wants a relationship with you. In fact, there are only a few signs that will be clearly visible:

The young man himself can offer to move in together. This is the most accurate sign that the guy is ripe for a serious relationship. In this case, you should not refuse him if you have a long, happy, life together in your plans.
A guy can show the fact that he already wants a serious relationship by talking about your future. Sometimes, male representatives, being not very brave, come from afar and lead everything to start living together. Don't wait, help the guy by making a counteroffer. Then he will definitely be sure that he made the right choice by starting a relationship with you.

Not sure how to understand that a guy wants a serious relationship? Just talk to him, this is one of the the best options get an answer to a question.

But what if your boyfriend wants an open relationship? It is important to decide whether you are ready to lead such a lifestyle. It is quite possible that you simply will not be able to maintain such a relationship, and soon you will get tired of all this. It's better to decide right away and in which case, find another guy.

The guy wants an open relationship

Do you really love the person? Then it will be quite difficult to choose between whether to quit it or not. However, this will have to be done, if only because you, too, have the right to happiness. Be only with the person who will make you happy. The guy does not want to continue the relationship? Break up and forget it. Find yourself someone who will appreciate you, love and respect you. You should not endure and try to fix something with someone who does not want it. In addition, be with those who are happy to develop relationships and move on, creating a strong and reliable family, where love always reigns.

Every year, relationships are becoming easier and easier, and tying them is getting easier and easier. It is already shameful and unfashionable to be, so to speak, inaccessible. Guys do not sing serenades under the windows, do not write poetry, and even flowers are not always given. They know that the girl will soon agree to everything. So the questions arise: what to do if a man does not want a serious relationship?

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Photo gallery: What to do if a man does not want a serious relationship?

Indeed, why build a future with someone, make certain financial investments in a person, if you can find someone who will satisfy all desires and will not require anything in return. And if she does, it will be possible to simply find another woman and continue her easy life without worries and problems.

But still, what to do if a man does not want a serious relationship? First you need to determine how he treats you and what he wants from your relationship. It may be that the young person is simply not ready to take responsibility for someone else. This can happen due to age, character, temperament and lifestyle. It's just that there are men who need to "walk up". They initially warn women that they are not ready to commit themselves to something serious and live only for today. There is nothing to blame such guys, because they are initially honest with you and do not force you to love yourself. On the contrary, such a young man will sincerely rejoice if he does not arouse romantic feelings for a woman. He sincerely does not want to offend anyone and hurt. He perfectly understands that with such a womanizer as he, no one will be happy and immediately warns about this. But, women, people are amorous and, in their own way, self-confident. We convince ourselves that we can change and fix such a guy, make him settle down and start a monogamous relationship. Unfortunately, this is only possible in a small number of cases. Simply, a young man should meet exactly the one, the ONLY one, for the sake of which he can sacrifice his freedom. And such young people are not always ready for such sacrifices, even for the only one. Yes, such a guy can sincerely love a girl, but not confess his feelings to her, because he knows that sooner or later he will cheat on her, thereby causing pain and breaking her heart. That is why, when we are looking for a serious relationship, after all, it is necessary to understand with whom we are trying to build them. Some men can't be changed. And this does not mean at all that they are bad people. On the contrary, such men often behave most honestly. They immediately warn of their intentions and explain what is worth and what should not be expected from such a relationship. It’s just that girls themselves come up with fairy tales and ideals for themselves, and then they try to fit the image of their beloved guy under them. But, people cannot be corrected and changed if they do not want it themselves. Even all-consuming love on your part will not make him an exemplary family man until he himself decides that it is time to become one. Therefore, if you know that the guy is a womanizer, you should not reassure yourself and build illusions. It's better to just break up with him if you know that you're falling in love. Otherwise, you will live, feeling constant pain and anger from injections of jealousy.

Of course, there may be another reason that the guy does not want a serious relationship. He just doesn't love you. Perhaps he is with you simply because he sees your feelings, pities you and considers you a good friend. It is convenient for him when there is a person nearby who will accept, understand and please. But he does not want anything more, because he knows that he has nothing to give in return. On the one hand, you are a close person for a guy, and he does not want to break off your relationship completely. But, on the other hand, he is afraid to give you hope for something more, because he understands that, most likely, there simply cannot be more. Of course, this is very painful and unpleasant. Every woman wants to be loved and unique. No one is attracted by the prospect of becoming just a substitute, a toy that can be used to forget someone. But in this situation, everything depends only on the woman. When she feels and understands the guy's attitude towards herself, she needs to decide for herself how to live on, what choice to make and what to do. If a guy does not want a serious relationship, he is unlikely to want them at all someday. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules in life. It may happen that the guy really sees in you his only one. But, no one will ever give a guarantee that this will be the case. It’s just that it’s easier and easier for him next to you, he forgets about his problems, to some extent, he feels alive. Perhaps you are a close friend and family person for him. But, unfortunately, he does not see you as a real life partner. Therefore, in such a situation, you need to do something and decide, otherwise it will come to a standstill, and you will feel bad and unbearably hurt.

You can end this relationship and try to forget the young man. Perhaps this option will be the most suitable for you. It is better to “get sick” with a feeling right away than to suffer for many years, trying to survive the dislike of a person who has become like air. Therefore, it is better to gather your will into a fist and try to break off relations once and for all. But, if you don't want to do that, then try another tactic. Show the guy that you don't need him anymore, that you don't care about how he treats and you don't feel any need for him. Of course, it is very difficult to play such a role, but what if a man does not want a serious relationship, how not to do just that. If a person is used to the fact that he has you, you are nearby and will not disappear anywhere, cold behavior will frighten him and alert him. The guy will have a sense of ownership. It may very well be that a young man cannot just leave it like that and wants to return you. Sometimes, such emotional upheavals make people understand their feelings and admit what they tried to keep silent about. After all, you can't lose what you don't already have. But, on the other hand, such behavior will remind the young man that you have pride and self-respect, and, moreover, will make him think about whether a serious relationship is really so undesirable.

And Anna is completely right about me, men really are not "goats" at all, it's just that we are next to each other - "the wrong ones", not the only ones, not those truly loved ones. And everyone in these relationships suffers, the man turns into an even greater cynic, and the woman, suffering from unrequited love, continues to play the role of a fighting girlfriend, a good friend, a passionate lover and God knows whom, for the sake of reciprocity. In the end, everything ends with the most terrible disappointment. It all ended with him without even starting, I was very tired, I am going to put an end to it with all my strength. Wish me good luck

Exactly my situation, I already put an end to it. But after a couple of weeks we started talking again. And I realized that I, too, was just fine and comfortable with him. while everything drags on. But I stopped obsessing over him, I'm looking for my love. And let him be for himself, it is necessary that someone was - to satisfy and help)))

Here is a simple answer for you, what to do if a man does not want a serious relationship?
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Find someone who wants to, and let him go, well, he’s not for you ...
He may not want so much for 10 years, until he changes his mind. And it will be too late to change his mind.
He won't be as handsome, he'll still be lonely and no one will give him (sex)..
A loner on his own, he's not honest...

I'm sorry, but there are 5% of guys who are really ready for a serious relationship ...

Everyone else is either emotionally unprepared, or doesn't want to at all.
The girl will be disappointed in any case and no matter what..

It's easy to say - "find the one who wants to" ... And if you are already well over 30, and where to look? In the club - not by age, on the street or in transport on the way from work - it's ridiculous, and at work there is a female team ... So you have to be content with what you have. And men just understand this very well, and get out as they want. Here's mine says to me - "we'll sign, only later, I have to get to this ..." And when will he get there? When will a nurse be needed instead of a wife? Is it better than one???

You know, I'm going through this now... It's so hard for me.. But it's just hard for me... It feels like there is no other person for me in this world.. It's very difficult for me. He is far away now, but he always writes to me .. But he is also very proud ... And I confess everything to him ... And he says that we are only friends .. So we swore and measured so much over the year .. This is a nightmare .. But we don't have sex.. And then how do I arrange it...??? We kiss and that's it ... Once I said that we are friends .. I won't kiss anymore, but he will try hard ... Well, what should I do?

First of all, learn to value yourself and your own time. It is not necessary to break up with such a named friend, you can just find interesting activities for yourself and devote less time to your beloved. Gradually it drags on, and the friend begins to worry when a girl suddenly in love with him does not pick up the phone because she is in fitness or in the pool, or in a vocal lesson. Don't explain to him where you were or what you were doing. Let it be your personal space that no one knows about.
It is necessary to overcome the addiction to the guy by intensive work on yourself, spiritual and physical development, to show that you are not a weak-minded person!

I recognize myself in this article, it turns out I'm not the only such "fool", judging by the comments ... My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years, we work together, we are terribly attached to each other. We are always good together, he, as was also indicated in the article, was immediately honest with me. They say I'm not going to get married, I don't need it, and they keep telling me about it when we quarrel. I suggested dotting all the "and", he does not want to part, but he cannot let go far from himself either. Ownership plays. I tried to get away from him, it doesn’t work, it pulls like a magnet.

And I have the same thing - we have been talking for two years, I left a hundred times, but I come back again, or he announces himself. Two years of naked sex, this is generally nonsense for me personally. I wonder why we are still so good together? We don't talk much, but we don't seem to need words either. Yesterday I decided to break everything again. I don't know how long it will take me...

You know, my situation is the same, but there is one "but" ... my boyfriend wants to be with me, but along the way he is afraid of what he constantly thinks about me, as if he is delirious (however, like me to them) ... He himself told me this and said that he didn’t want it to be like that with him ... Apparently he was very scared, although there’s nothing to be afraid of, because it’s so nice to think about someone and wait for a meeting. We also live in different cities, I came to him constantly. And he was so happy. He says that he needs time to understand that he needs to grow up and asks me to give him this time, how much the truth is unknown, but I feel that I must give him this time + do something else so that he comes to the right conclusion , so as not to regret anything later, to do everything possible ... Probably I love him, I think this is mutual ... you can at least try to save what is ... what do you think?

One woman once told me that love should be allowed in, since you can then live with it for many years)) But I really understand how it hurts. I have the same situation, the guy at the meeting warned that he did not want a serious relationship, but at the same time he grabbed like a tick. Now we have been living together for a year and a half .. that’s all .. He says, I warned that I don’t want a serious relationship, children, family is not for me, I don’t want to live like Petya, Vasya and calls me not prosperous families, and in general tells me it is not required, I do not want to. If you leave me, I will understand you, but I have feelings for you and I do not want to deceive you. On the offer to just meet for sex, he refused. If we already live together, then it is not possible to meet back.

And judging by what I read, I think if a guy asks for time, then he mixed up his gender, because women usually play it ((On the one hand, it’s better to regret what you did, but on the other hand, you’re tired of pleasing and indulging in everything ..

Same situation as everyone here. I fell in love with him, it seemed that it was mutual, and then it turned out that he was not looking for a serious relationship and he was just fine with me. Gathered her will into a fist and told him that he was free and free to do whatever he wanted, since he was so young and hot. I was surprised and did not understand when he continued active correspondence. She didn’t do anything herself, didn’t touch him in any way. And so, she could not stand it and asked why he writes to me all the time. And what did I hear? I like our sex, but I don't want a relationship. We will, most likely, not as a couple, but as Good friends. He is just comfortable and good with me. I, of course, by female nature, cannot believe that he does not have any feelings for me, but all the facts stubbornly repeat this. p.s. I agreed to his terms.

Greetings in our club!)) The situation is similar, for half a year he fooled his head with love, I see him "rolls me on a banana carousel", only words and magical prospects ... And I'm a young lady not knitted with a bast, threw him with a fold and went on a spree , we didn’t communicate for a month, I guess I wasn’t sad, well, I don’t have the habit of being sad .... I showed up, I lost fifteen kilos))) I inclined him by the gill and to cohabitation, I see the falcon goes out, and then my unexpected pregnancy and his sluggish reaction, of course, I will leave him, now categorically, I do not feel a shortage of gentlemen, so I will castling in the coming days. And finally! Dear girls, do not rush to be sad, because life is so beautiful! There will be someone who will lust for you, look for you, demand meetings ... But for this you need to shake off the transit passengers described above in time! Strength and love to all of you :)

We like each other, sometimes we meet, just hugs and kisses and that's it ... I fell in love ... and decided to bring him to a frank conversation and it turned out that he likes our "communication", but he does not want his freedom to be limited. .. How to act in such a situation?

Easy to say but hard to do. 8 months in limbo. He had a relationship 3 years before me, he loved the girl very much, but it turned out that they broke up. Now he has "burned milk syndrome", says that he is afraid to get used to me and experience the same pain as in past relationships. No matter how much I explain that it is not necessary to equalize everyone one at a time, it doesn’t really reach. Relations stalled. I got bored...

I found myself in a very difficult situation, I love the martyr very much, he tells me that there will be no serious relationship, but we spend all our free time together, we have been with him for the second year, he loves to take a walk, etc., I’m already tired of crying because of him behavior, after reading the article, I decided to do as it is written: I will show that I have lost interest in him, after the experiment I will write the result, thanks for the advice I will try.

And I've been raving like this for a year and a half. And how many times I promised myself to finish everything once and for all. But we have always been so blissful together, we fit together like two puzzles. And he confessed his love. And I loved him. Just said "I love in my own way, don't put pressure on me and I'll get high"...
And now I have reached the point where a period of unbearable pain and resentment has come. Well, it’s not possible to constantly be in limbo, then he says that he loves, then disappears for a couple of months, then appears. And I already have feelings for him really serious.
In the last conversation, he said that he was apparently still too young and bad, but he loved me undeniably. But now he cannot promise himself anything, and even more so, he does not want to tell me fairy tales, so that it would not be even worse. It's a terrible feeling..

Quote: Hella

Is my story unique? the whole joke is that we are still together, for 4 years already. We are not a couple, and you can’t call friends. He doesn’t tell me that he loves, although literally not so long ago I brought him to a conversation and for all the years I spoke out to him, confessed my love, said that this was our last meeting and I don’t want to see him anymore, since the age is not the same, it’s time to get married , and not again 4 years to wait when it matures. The most frightening thing is that, and if I wait for him like that, and he will take it and marry another ... He doesn’t want to let me go either, and doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and doesn’t want to let go. And now I’m leaving for another city from him, I told him about it, and instead of being upset, he said that he would come to me (((seriously, I’m so tired, but he’s really milking me not just air, he’s my wings He instills so much positive and calmness in me, I want him to always be there ... I left him, cheating on him, tried to bewitch him, I tried to marry another, God, what did I just do ... To be honest , I wanted to find an answer in the article, I didn’t find it, but I realized that there are more fools like me than I thought ??? if someone eventually found a way out of this situation, pout with me. ...

I so understand you!! And I share with many girls this pain and resentment when you are in an unstable position.
It is not clear what we are doing with my lover from school. At first they just saw each other, talked, then it started spinning, cheating on their girls with me. Five years have already passed since then, we rarely see each other, because moved, and before that they didn’t see each other often, he explained this by being busy, but I knew that he just started a new relationship and he wasn’t up to me. Often hysterical about not being needed, using me, getting a good job, but declaring his love, saying that I’ve been around for so many years and like and arrange, but what kind of relationship is there, now the reason is distance. He did not say anything intelligible about why they had not met before. He trusts me with everything that happens in business, personal life, but I so want to be happy and support him when the relationship ends badly. I can't live without this person. She tried to stop everything, but she herself returned once, usually he calms down, asks not to get excited, says that no matter who he is with, but I will always be, and there is no need to leave everything. I can’t understand him, but I know that there are feelings. It's a shame that I'm worse than all his girls, the only answer is that nothing, and so as not to bother about the fact that I'm bad for something (

Thanks, I got it too! cut off the excess! I've been talking to a handsome guy for a year! Right now, he tells me that he wants sex from me, but on the condition that I don’t make plans for the future with him, I certainly don’t need such a relationship, and in general it’s not interesting!

Hello!!! I liked the article very much. I myself am in a “toilet” situation. He comes and calls only when needed, for 4 years now. We met when I moved to another area, he is a neighbor and 7 years younger than me. I understand that I can’t demand more, but and there is no way to go on. All my thoughts are about him. Like a fool, I look forward to it every evening and always think for the last time. How to collect this will I can’t imagine.

Mdaaa .... How many of us are there !!! And when we started dating, after half a year he called me in marriage, and I was confused, I wasn’t ready then and couldn’t move to him, my daughter gave an ultimatum. Yes, now all this is no longer important. Our paths parted then, and it was more than 5 years ago. He immediately found a replacement, she got pregnant, got married. They began to meet, I kept waiting and thinking ... well, here it is, my happiness has returned, he said that he loves ... then he said that he now does not need a serious relationship, because. I was very worried about the divorce, I was very sorry for the child. I swallowed it, I thought .. I waited so much, and I’ll wait. He said that I was the best, but I believed .. like a fool, naive! disappear, not ask for it. After 2 months, he crawled back, as if nothing had happened .. he was very busy, well, I’m with him again, I understand that it’s a hoax, but I can’t live without him. And after another 2 months, I found out that he lives with another, threw such a tantrum at him, how is it possible to stomp his soul like that with a person. And he remembered the past for me that I didn’t want to and not a drop of remorse. And again there was silence for half a year, and I was dying. spent, noodles again. Like .. well, let's try ... And I returned to her again. I gathered all my strength into a fist and decided .. I will eat the earth, but I will not let this monster into my life anymore. And now for more than a year he writes and calls me, but I’m silent! He married this one. And he offers me to be friends and just talk!!! And I can’t understand why I had to be kept around, almost 6 years ... if but it was. And it still doesn’t let go, it says we’ll still be together. And I’m fighting, I’m roaring like a beluga when I read SMS, but I don’t answer. let him go .... let him be. I’m just afraid to stay alone, and I’m already 40. I’ve lost so much time with him, I wanted to give birth to another baby. I know for sure that he won’t offer me anything more. ... RUN as fast as you can. Otherwise, life will pass! And you will only have yourself to blame .........

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Photo gallery: What to do if a man does not want a serious relationship?

And Anna is completely right about me, men really are not "goats" at all, it's just that we are next to each other - "the wrong ones", not the only ones, not those truly loved ones. And everyone suffers in these relationships, the man turns into an even greater cynic, and the woman, suffering from unrequited love, continues to play the role of a fighting friend, a good friend, a passionate lover and God knows whom, for the sake of reciprocity. In the end, everything ends with the most terrible disappointment. It all ended with him without even starting, I was very tired, I am going to put an end to it with all my strength. Wish me good luck

Here is a simple answer for you, what to do if a man does not want a serious relationship?
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I'm sorry, but there are 5% of guys who are really ready for a serious relationship ...

Everyone else is either emotionally unprepared, or doesn't want to at all.
The girl will be disappointed in any case and no matter what..

One woman once told me that love should be allowed in, since you can then live with it for many years)) But I really understand how it hurts. I have the same situation, the guy at the meeting warned that he did not want a serious relationship, but at the same time he grabbed like a tick. Now we have been living together for a year and a half .. that's all .. He, he says, I warned that I don’t want a serious relationship, children, family is not for me, I don’t want to live like Petya, Vasya and calls not prosperous families, and in general tells me it is not required, I do not want to. If you leave me, I will understand you, but I have feelings for you and I do not want to deceive you. On the offer to just meet for sex, he refused. If we already live together, then it is not possible to meet back.

Same situation as everyone here. I fell in love with him, it seemed that it was mutual, and then it turned out that he was not looking for a serious relationship and he was just fine with me. Gathered her will into a fist and told him that he was free and free to do whatever he wanted, since he was so young and hot. I was surprised and did not understand when he continued active correspondence. She didn’t do anything herself, didn’t touch him in any way. And so, she could not stand it and asked why he writes to me all the time. And what did I hear? I like our sex, but I don't want a relationship. We will most likely be not as a couple, but as good friends. He is just comfortable and good with me. I, of course, by female nature, cannot believe that he does not have any feelings for me, but all the facts stubbornly repeat this. p.s. I agreed to his terms.

Quote: Hella