Joint life with a guy: surprises and pitfalls. Live with a friend

According to statistics, more than 30% of Russians under the age of 45 live with their parents. Some do not want to go anywhere, others do not have the financial opportunity to live separately. Still others claim that they would be happy to live separately, but it is not yet the time. And then a whole list of reasons: “there is no money for their own housing”, “parents alone cannot cope”, etc. Today, those who live with their parents are often accused of insolvency and immaturity. How fair is this? What are the pros and cons of living together?

Financial aid

Utility bills, household expenses, and sometimes the purchase of groceries often fall on the shoulders of parents.

➕ This will help you save up for your own housing, car, get an education. You can travel, live for your own pleasure.

➖ It is difficult to learn how to plan a budget, distribute finances on your own, and after all, parental material assistance will not last forever.

Emotional Support

Relatives can become a kind of support and protection from worries and difficulties, because they solve many domestic problems.

➕ Parents will always listen, support and regret.

➖ You become emotionally dependent on your parents, which means you will always look for someone who will support you and solve all your problems.

Disclaimer

Living together with parents allows you to shift responsibility for your life, household chores, your own failures in your career or personal life onto them.

➕ Paradoxically, but the ability to shift the blame on another will save you from unnecessary torment and save your health.

➖ It is impossible to understand what you are striving for, what you want, to learn how to make decisions and build life on your own.

stability and confidence

➕ You can be sure of tomorrow, do what you like, do not be afraid to take risks, looking for your life path.

➖ You can realize the wishes and needs of your parents, taking them for your own. You use their knowledge and experience without acquiring your own. Your fate is determined by parental attitudes, without which you are lost and unable to go through life on your own.

Family values

➕ Living under the same roof with parents allows you to create an image of an ideal family in your head. As long as your parents are happily married.

➖ The family idyll of parents can make it difficult to find a partner, because you will look for an ideal, without thinking that you need to work on relationships.

Help in raising children

When children are born, the help of grandparents can greatly ease the hardships of new parents.

➕ Sometimes instead of help (or along with it) you get endless advice, lectures and moralizing. The inability of parents to listen to the opinions of others, the desire to help at all costs and confidence in their own rightness can not only give rise to doubts about the solvency as a mother, but also shake the emotional state, including the child.

➖ For parents, cohabitation also has its benefits. First of all, this is the absence of the “empty nest” syndrome: when children are nearby, parents continue to feel their importance and need.

Together or apart?

draw conclusions. Analyze what you gain and lose by living with your parents? Do you want to stay with them? Separate housing does not always solve all problems. You can live a thousand kilometers away, but be dependent on your parents. And you can be the mistress of your own destiny in the same apartment with them.

If you are going to stay with your parents, decide what suits / does not suit you in cohabitation? What rights are being infringed on? What rules and agreements would you like to introduce? What will help make your coexistence as comfortable as possible?

Remember: You can also help your parents from a distance. The main thing is support and trusting relationships, and not living in one territory.

Cohabitation Rules

It will be useful to identify them.

✔︎ Every member of the family should have their own space. Even if, due to cramped conditions, it is impossible to allocate a room for everyone, it is important that everyone has their own corner - a place where he is completely left to himself.

✔︎ On the common territory of the apartment, it is necessary to observe the rules of the “hostel” agreed upon by you and maintain traditions.

✔︎ Household responsibilities should be shared among all family members. Whatever financial contribution you make to family budget, do not shift household chores (cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping) entirely on the shoulders of the parents.

✔︎ Respect and freedom of choice: none of you is obliged to sacrifice your own desires and needs for the sake of the other. Respect your parents, but be yourself.

Moving to a common nest, you think that you have found true eternal happiness. You are both in love and pay little attention to the habits and weaknesses you bring into your new home. Before harmony can be achieved, there will be many difficult trials, because life under one roof is not only an idyll, but also a test of character. The difference of interests will be felt at every step.

So far you haven't talked about money. He paid for the movie and dinner, and you responded with an invitation to a homemade dinner. But this idyll is over, and now you have to pay bills and go shopping together. To avoid financial difficulties, it is worth creating a special “fund” and possibly keeping a book of expenses, while taking into account the fact that you may not earn the same. Try to create savings in case someone loses their job. If you do not have a reserve, you will have to live at the expense of your partner. However, relying on someone else's kindness for a long time can lead to serious conflicts.

The modern couple must distribute household chores having established who will do the laundry, vacuum, take out the trash. At the same time, the iron separation of duties does not justify itself.

Everyone does what they love. Or what he understands. What remains, do in turn. Some things are easier to do if you help each other. Switch roles for variety. At least once a week, do what your partner usually does.

Consider the tastes and preferences of a man. Interior arrangement- pure pleasure if you like the same style. But this rarely happens. You like to be surrounded by pleasant little things and warm colors, and he is a supporter of cold minimalism. Divide the zones. If you have two rooms, everyone can arrange one room in their own style. If you cook most of the time, decorate the kitchen in your own way. If he is the soul of the company, let him decorate the living room to his liking. Create an illusion. If he moves in with you and the apartment is already furnished, give him at least a chance to participate in your creation.

What to do if one of you is a pedant, and the second does not interfere with the mess? Make a list of annoying things and post it in a prominent place. The written word is more powerful. Or try imagining that creative clutter favors sexual spontaneity. It inspires much more than sterile cleanliness and order, as in a museum.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. He is a meat eater and you are a vegetarian. Try not to have lunch together so as not to annoy each other. During the day it is better to eat in the city. Respect your partner's diet. Joint meals are a very important moment in family life, so you need to compromise during Sunday or holiday dinner. Let there be a place on the table for both his chop and your carrot cutlets.

Previously, you did not notice that your lifestyle is different and these differences can cause conflicts.

Don't compete. If it seems that you have a competitor in the face of the TV, find yourself a remedy for loneliness. Call a friend, read magazines. He will surely be able to find something to do. If you like to listen to music or watch TV shows, do it with headphones. Don't force him to change. Differences in habits and preferences should not overwhelm your relationship. If you convince your partner that he should be the same as you, you will achieve the opposite result.

Social circle plays a big role in life together. In addition to mutual friends, you also have your own. Accustom him to your acquaintances gradually. Before you arrange a bachelorette party, introduce him to each friend separately. If one of his friends is unpleasant to you, try to convince yourself that this is a prejudice. He cannot be as stupid and worthless as you think, because he is a friend of your loved one.

Learn to plan your free time. At first you will be like Siamese twins, but this will pass. To maintain a strong union, it is enough to spend a third of free time with each other. You should have hours for yourself - for hobbies and pleasures. If you unwillingly start living the life of a loved one, you will quickly find that you have no topics to talk about, and eventually boredom will appear! Don't give up on anything.

Pay more attention to intimate life. The beginning of a life together brings with it disappointments, as he already guesses that your impeccable appearance is the merit of makeup, and he does not really resemble Superman. The rose-colored glasses disappear and you no longer make love as often as you used to.

Norms do not exist, It would be foolish to arrange sexual marathons through force, as happened in the past. Lack of desire every day does not mean that you do not love each other. It just so happens: what is available no longer seems so seductive. A loving couple can do many other wonderful things in bed - talk heart to heart, laugh. Sex becomes less passionate, but quantity turns into quality. You get to know each other better. Enjoying higher-order sensations, you feel loved and protected.

The most important thing is to learn how to resolve conflicts. When you lived separately, you could end a quarrel by slamming the door and waiting stubbornly for several days for him to relent and call. Now you have to face the truth, because you live together, and this option is not possible. You will have to strategize how to deal with conflicts, big and small.

It could be a healthy fight. Even the biggest scandal is better than hushing up an insult. Yell or say anything that annoys you. A few broken plates will cleanse the atmosphere better than an offended face. Learn to compromise. If, for example, he was again late for an hour, and you conjured over dinner for so long, do not start a quarrel.

What to hide, living together is a continuous series of compromises. Your life will never be the same again, but that doesn't mean it will only get worse! You just moved to the next class of the school of understanding men.

Or how not to break the love boat about everyday life.

Many couples are afraid to get dirty in everyday life. The female half is especially afraid of this. I'm not an exception.

My husband and I have been living together for 3 years now. Maybe for someone this is a completely insignificant figure, but for me it is a big period of time in which there was everything. Including purely domestic quarrels. But thanks to this experience, I have deduced for myself some of the intricacies of running a joint household, which I will be happy to share with you.

No. 1. It is better to immediately resolve all financial issues. Will there be a total budget in “one piggy bank” or separate envelopes. It may turn out that, having received a bill for an apartment, both thought that someone would pay, but in the end no one paid. Or with the overall budget, he thought he would take money from the piggy bank for a gym membership, and she thought that this money would go to her new boots. Solving money issues openly, talking about money is quite normal. Do not be shy about it and let it take its course with the words " we'll figure it out somehow". No need to hide from each other the size of your salaries. Your half is not a tax one :) Everything should be honest and open. Having said all the nuances once, you will always be sure that you will not have any financial disagreements and grievances.

№2. Talk and discuss. Thoughts, plans, events. The more people in a couple talk, the easier it is for them to understand each other. And you know how it happens, she waited for her mother for a whole month, and he found out about it only when the mother-in-law knocked on the door. Build common goals and plans- a very important component of a harmonious union. Dream about where you will go this year and what you need to do to make your dream come true, plan to buy an apartment or build a house yourself. This is very close and creates one strong union from two different people - a ship that, despite the waves, sails to the right shores. You can make general plans for a month, a year, five years. It is especially pleasant to do this while sitting in some cozy cafe. Thanks to one such gathering, you will understand each other more and try harder for such a wonderful pronoun as " we».
№3. And a little more about the plans. Plan total time together and in advance. So that it doesn’t turn out that tomorrow after work he was going to finally put his documents in order, and she was already determined to go to the shopping center) Your joint business should not come as a surprise to your soulmate.
№4. Do not violate personal space. His laptop is his laptop. Her diary is her diary. Such personal things should be treated with care and not hosted. Do not transfer to other places, do not read what is written inside. If you need to use his laptop, ask permission. Such a small formality shows great respect.
No. 5. But most of the things in your house will still be shared. And if you buy yogurt in the hope of having it for breakfast tomorrow morning before work, be ready that you won't find it on that shelf in the fridge where you left it yesterday. The refrigerator is shared, the products in it are also shared;) And not only you will want yogurt in the morning.

No. 6. There is no need to build hopes that living in the same territory, everything will be done together. Lying together and watching movies together, cooking together, brushing teeth together and walking with each other with a ponytail. Naturally, there will be films and joint affairs, but not always. Sometimes he or she wants to take a break from everything, read a book or surf the Internet. It is normal that even living together, you can be alone with yourself. This is the value of such a concept as "home". Also, do not react painfully if you were left at home alone / alone. After you have gathered, each of you has not lost friends and seeing them, paying attention to them is a normal thing. Do not make such walks occasions for quarrels and insults. Better at this time, take care of yourself and your affairs.
No. 7. It's great to have help. When I'm tired and my husband is cooking dinner, or when he's at work and I'm taking his jacket to the atelier. Mutual assistance and mutual assistance are an important part of family life. In general, I believe that, if possible, it is necessary to make life easier for a loved one. And most importantly, don't expect thanks. You do it because you feel like it.
No. 8. Do not expect that a person will suddenly change dramatically after you start living together. For the better. FOR YOU. I'm disappointed that this won't happen. A person can change himself, of his own free will, but not at your will. Therefore, you should not blame him for things left on the bed if he always put them on the bed over the past 25 years. And it does not matter that now you have a large dressing room.
No. 9. Our family is not the family of our parents. It is foolish to hope that if your dad pickles cucumbers every season, then so will your husband. Or if his mother prepares a breakfast of three or more courses, then the wife should do the same. At first, something surprises and I want to say: “ But my mom never did that!», « and my dad never slept in the evenings, why do you sleep after work?!". Or maybe everyone in his family sleeps after work, and on the contrary, he is surprised that you don’t have this tradition. This is a big adjustment, but if you initially treat this with the understanding that this is a different person, not from your family, who grew up in a different atmosphere and with different rules and traditions, then life becomes easier.
No. 10. You may have different interests and hobbies. You may like different music and different genre of films. Terrible? No, it's quite normal. Most importantly, don't ridicule or discount each other's interests by calling it "rubbish", "waste of time" and "lack of taste". You are different and you need to understand this. But you are together because you love each other, which means you accept different interests. I'm not advocating fishing together if the smell of fish makes you sick, but you can at least embrace this hobby as an activity that gives happiness your young man, and sometimes show interest in his hobby, even verbal. And common hobbies and favorite joint films will come with time. Sooner or later you will have a common taste.
No. 11. Many believe that living together can completely relax. Walk around uncombed? And who sees me. Got a stain on your clothes? It's okay, I'm at home! You must always remember that the most important person for you is looking at you at the moment. And does he or she deserve to see an untidy appearance, untidy socks or dirty feet. Although our home is our fortress, even in a fortress you should not let yourself go on all 4 sides. Although someone calls it trust (I trust her, so I can be myself and if it itches somewhere, immediately scratch it), then for me this is simply disrespectful. Of course, you don't have to go to evening dresses and costumes, but you can follow the basic rules of hygiene, cleanliness and etiquette. It's so simple!
No. 12. I think it will be easier for the family if everyone has their own responsibilities. One washes the dishes after dinner, takes out the trash, the other irons the clothes and makes the bed. Usually, this is developed over time and it is really easier to build a life this way. But I do not see anything wrong with replacing each other. With separate duties, you do not need to express your " fi"and declare" you should do it, not me". But I don't recommend being a hero either. Initially, all the girls want to show themselves as brilliant housewives and take the entire household on their fragile shoulders. And after 10 years, for some reason, they are surprised that her husband is lying on the couch when she does not let go of the rag from her hands, having time to deal with small children. If you see that your loved one cannot / does not have time to do some household chores, do it yourself. There is nothing criminal in this. But taking on all the responsibilities is not the most best idea. Share ;)
№13. It has been scientifically proven that people who live together are happier not from the number of hours spent together, but from the emotions received during the joint pastime. Therefore, it is worth thinking about how to diversify your leisure time. Maybe go for an evening run together or change the situation, go out of town on weekends, for picnics. You can buy interesting board games or try filling out a creative notebook together. Play table tennis or computer games. Open new places in the city and so on. There are a lot of ideas, you just need to be more puzzled by this :)
No. 14. Don't forget the amenities. Coming home from work with a small gift in the form of a chocolate bar or some interesting trinket will show your soul mate that you always remember her and always want to please her. To slip a note or candy into a jacket pocket is a small sign of attention and love in terms of costs, but a great moral value. Arrange a festive dinner with delicious treats on an ordinary day. Why not?)) Do not forget to pamper, delight and surprise each other. Then no terrible and terrible "everyday life" threatens you)

Evening meetings after a hard day, joint weekends, plans for a common vacation, are you great together, and all his ridiculous shortcomings and habits do not piss you off, but rather delight you? Congratulations, you were hit by the arrows of the prankster Cupid. Joint life is a great joint work. Therefore, each of the partners must be aware of what they are doing and whether they are ready for such responsibility.

Where to begin?

If the idea of ​​​​starting to live together has already matured in your head, and this idea is taking on real shape, then it's time to discuss this issue with your man. After all, just think how nice it will be to wake up together not once a week, but every day. If your chosen one also says that he likes this idea, then it's time to act.

Life together is a real ability to be guided by compromise. Both of you will have something to lose - bachelor freedom, lack of responsibilities, your own space and other delights of being free. In fact, it can take many years from the birth of the idea to live together to its implementation. We offer you tips on how to start a life together with a man.

Discuss any concerns together. If you feel insecure, then tell the man about it. Believe me, your chosen one has his own personal set of the same ridiculous fears. After all, he, like you, will part with his freedom.

Don't forget about distance. We need to discuss the general, keep our personal. Living together does not mean growing into your chosen one. You must have your friends, habits, hobbies and hobbies. The right to privacy is a must!

It is worth discussing such issues of joint life: budget (how will you pay bills, buy groceries), consequences (expenditure must be discussed, otherwise one day your chosen one will buy a gadget, and you will buy a new dress, but it turns out that your union has more money no), everyday life (share household chores), relations with relatives, etc.

Remember that you must discuss all the simple things without touching on any of the issues, there may be constant disputes in your house. Even improperly laid out laundry can be the cause of disputes.

By no means!

1. Issue an ultimatum. You should not say that if you do not live together, then your union is doomed to parting. In this case, you should not be sure that your man will not decide in favor of the second option.
2. If your man said that he is not yet ready to live together, you do not need to discuss his disagreement many times. The hope that his opinion will change is scanty. So if suddenly something changes, your chosen one will let you know.
3. Do not come up with an explanation for the actions of your chosen one. This is a very thankless task, of course, but not if you have the ability to read minds from a distance.
4. Be offended if a man asked to give him some time to think. This time will give you the opportunity to think whether you need to move in now or early.
5. Obsessing over the thought that if you move in together, your life will be perfect. It's unrealistic to predict. Our life gives us a lot of surprises, including unpleasant ones.

Where will you live together?

If the decision to live together has already been made, then you should think about where you will live. There are many options for resolving this issue:

• him. You need to make sure that the man really wants you to move, and not just wanted to please you. It is not necessary to redo everything in his apartment. It is better to ask him to give you a place for personal things.
• flat rent. it the best option to start a life together. You will be in the same position, and therefore you will have to worry together about which curtains to choose, which rugs and pillows will decorate the interior, etc.
• the man is moving in with you. Rearrange all the furniture together so that everyone has a place for privacy and things. You should not command, this is a joint activity. A man must feel that this is yours. common Home, and he is not just a temporary guest. Change the entry on the answering machine.

How not to lose yourself while living together?

Living together is a joyful event in the life of lovers, only after the grinding stage has passed, saturation with your soulmate appears. It is during this period that I want to meet my girlfriends, take a walk in the squares and parks, go shopping with my mother.

And, it would seem, the task is realistic, but then it turns out that your chosen one is against it. He does not want to let his beloved go anywhere. Sometimes, the situation develops in the opposite case - the girl is against the meetings of her man with his friends. So, life together ceases to bring joy. In order to prevent disappointment in living together with your soulmate, you should always remember that each person should have their own personal life and their own interests.

Arrange to meet your best girlfriends at the same time that your man goes to meet his friends. The main rule - do not get carried away with separate walks on an ongoing basis, so that interest in each other does not disappear. Sometimes, it happens that a couple breaks up because one of them went on a spree in the company of his friends, and calm family life ceased to interest him.

Remember that the key to living together will be the ability to find compromises with your chosen one, negotiating and avoiding scandals and misunderstandings.

Discuss the question of who will come to visit you. So that there are no problems in the future that you are tired and want to relax, and at home you will have 100 guests - your man's friends. And then his mother will operate, laying out the things of her little son, as her heart desires. All these questions may seem banal to you, but they require discussion.

Many of the couples are faced with the fact that the sexual component is changing. If some people think that sex will begin to fade, they will worry about how to let passion die out, then they are mistaken. After all, there is a mass simple ways keep the secret of inaccessibility, impregnating your rapprochement with passion, which is observed during romantic evenings.

Svetlana Rumyantseva

He is cohabitation, every year is gaining popularity among residents of large cities. Cohabitation without official registration of relations has its pros and cons. It can be viewed as a rehearsal for family life, gaining experience, testing feelings, or the most convenient relationship option. Among couples in which both a man and a woman have already been in the role of spouses, civil marriage is a kind of symbol of peace. He becomes a conscious choice of two, familiar with the intricacies of family life. And what about girls who decide for the first time to live together with a guy? What to expect from a new experience, and what pitfalls will meet on the way? We share experience.

Underwater rocks

The first months will be especially difficult: you will get to know a person anew. Say goodbye to the idealized image and get ready to accept the person as he is, without romantic embellishments.

Flaws

Your boyfriend is not perfect. It is not difficult to guess about this even before living together, but it will be possible to determine the extent of imperfection only in conditions of merciless life. Get ready for special difficulties if the young man lived with his mother before. The guy spoiled in the family is used to the fact that everything in the house is done without his participation: the plate left on the table is washed by itself, the socks scattered in the corners are erased by themselves, and the food appears by itself.

Young people who have tasted the delights of living separately are more prepared for a joint life. Every bachelor knows how to serve himself at a primitive level. With a good combination of circumstances, he reveals talents for cooking, cleaning and washing. At first, household trifles will haunt you at every step: splashes of paste on the mirror, the floor in the hallway trampled with dirty shoes, crumbs in the kitchen, and maybe in bed. Who's lucky! Do not despair. You can fight bad addictions, the main thing is not to confuse them with innate character traits.

Flaws can also be found in the guy's habits. For example, a loud sneeze that sounds like thunder from an orchestra pit, from which the whole house shudders along with you. Some voiceless men love to sing in the bathroom early in the morning, disturbing the sensitive sleep of the lady of the heart. Patience, you have a long joint work ahead of you.

Finance

In most cases, fears are caused by two nuances:

a girl makes more money than a guy
A guy's salary is higher than a girl's.

You need to choose a convenient budget option based on the views of both partners:

General budget - all money is added together, expenses are discussed in advance. The wishes of both partners are taken into account. If a girl bought a handbag this month, then next month a guy will buy a prefix. No sexual privileges unless they have been negotiated in advance. For example, guys spend less money on cosmetics than girls, this is their advantage. While the female restocks lipstick, mascara and blush, the young man saves money to buy a laptop. But here's the bad luck: a girl can also dream of an expensive purchase, which she can't see in such a scenario. How to be? Explain to the man that cosmetics are among the essentials: she will give her a beautiful appearance, to him - the opportunity to enjoy a lovely concubine.
Part of the total budget is the amount to pay for the apartment and general living expenses. She shares equally. The couple manages the rest of the money at their own will.
One of the partners fully assumes the payment of housing and household expenses. More often it turns out to be a man, but there are also business ladies who are ready. If a girl is financially dependent on a roommate, as a rule, she takes care of all household chores.

Couples starting to live together struggle to manage expenses. To solve this issue, calculate the budget. At first, accounting for purchases will be invaluable help and save you from unnecessary quarrels.

Responsibilities

One devastating stereotype lives in the head of the vast majority of men: the household is a purely female affair. Such an alignment is justified only in one case: when all financial obligations lie with the guy. If both work in a couple, then household chores are divided into two.

Girls in the very first weeks of their life together make one fatal mistake: they try to play the role of an ideal hostess. What is the danger?

You will not have enough strength to cope with the sharply piled responsibilities. Even an experienced hostess needs an assistant, what can we say about a girl taking the first steps in a life together? Life will exhaust you and squeeze out all the juices of life.
The guy will get used to it and sit on his neck. If you do not accustom a young man to help with the housework right away, then you will not be able to do it later. He will get used to his position as a “master” and will not want to part with it.

Traditionally, men are entrusted with taking out the garbage, washing dishes, and the simple part of cleaning, but in each pair, the division of duties is individual. Some cohabitants actively practice complete equality: everyone cooks for himself, cleans up after himself, and does his laundry.

Personal space

At first, it seems to partners that spending 24 hours a day together is a dream and real happiness. After a couple of days / weeks, young people realize that they cannot do without. The desire for solitude is a natural desire that must not only be respected, but everything must be done to fulfill it. Let each partner choose their territory for the rest. Well, if these are different rooms. And if not? Someone has a computer desk, and someone has a sofa and a TV. Hobbies are also a sphere of personal interests, in which you should not interfere without a good reason. But don't go to extremes. Organize time so that you both stay together and relax separately.

Sex

Until a girl and a guy live together, sex in 90% of cases is planned. This is especially true for the female representatives. The realization that today the girl will stay with the guy alone and spend a stormy night with him is a psychological prelude.

During cohabitation, sex becomes spontaneous and at the same time mandatory. It is difficult for a girl to switch to an intimate mood after a working day and household chores. Sex fades. On especially difficult days (and there will be many of them in the first months), sexual intimacy can also cause a feeling of disgust. Guys are not immune from this situation. In the conditions of joint life, the physiological characteristics of partners are also revealed: one wants sex every day, the other every three days.

outlook

Each person is brought up and grows in individual conditions, has a subjective experience and a system of views on the world. Conflicts can be different: an atheist and a believer, a democrat and a monarchist, a Slavophile and a Westerner. But if global philosophical and political issues can be bypassed, then what to do with everyday troubles? The girl is a vegetarian and the guy is a meat eater. The situation is not simple. But even in it you will have to look for a compromise that will solve the issue of cooking, smells and aesthetic tastes.

prejudice

During their life together, young people will have to face personal prejudices and false ideas about civil marriage wandering among others.

already married

Girls think that living together is forever. In a couple of months or years, the guy will propose, they will get married, have children and live together until old age. Alas, the reality is different from the dream. and tend to fall apart.

Still free

For a man, cohabitation is the specter of freedom. You can always leave if something goes wrong.

Not seriously

Civil marriage is considered to be. It's right. But cohabitation is a valid test that helps to accept the right decision. Young people realize whether they are ready for marriage and starting a family or not. This saves from the tragic mistakes common among hurried newlyweds.

Will not marry

This stereotype rests on the idea of ​​a man as a lustful animal, eager for sex. Yes, some guys get one-sided benefits from cohabitation, but you should not judge all men by them.

Cradle of debauchery

An intimate relationship outside of marriage is still condemned among the inveterate guardians of morality who grew up during the years of the USSR. But young people do not share such ideas. Despite this, on a subconscious level, young people can feel shame and actively fight against the prejudices embedded by the older generation.

When solving difficulties, remember that it is impossible to remake another person for yourself. But it becomes a victim and it is also not worth putting an unbearable burden on your shoulders. The purpose of grinding is to make living together comfortable. Over time, you will adapt to new roles and conditions, find a common rhythm and common ground.

April 13, 2014, 11:23 am