home power tool

Psychology of Dagestanis. Marry a Dagestan (subjective view). Attitude towards money

My opinion is subjective and personal, the conclusions are made on the basis of what I saw and heard during my marriage to a Dagestan, and are presented exclusively from a female point of view. I myself am a Tatar, I live and work in Moscow. Head covering, modest clothing - this is mandatory for me, as in principle, for all Muslim girls. When we met my future husband, a Dagestani, he talked about Islam, read namaz, often remembered the Almighty, and this affected my choice. I sincerely rejoiced, thanking Allah for the fact that I met my man, whom both the head covering and the absence of bare parts of the body not only attract, but, it seemed to me, delight.

We made the decision to get married. We went to the mosque, where the nikah was read, after which my husband safely moved into my apartment. From that moment on, I got the opportunity to learn more about him and his kindred environment, since I had previously seen Caucasians only in films and only from the positive side.

I won’t say anything, their hospitality and respect for elders pleased me, but in everything else, alas. Especially regarding the show-offs - this is something special, it even seems to me, laid down at their genetic level. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter at whose expense and at what cost, but each of them believed that he simply had to be cooler than the other. At the same time, they themselves are deeply confident in their superiority over others, even having nothing, no education, no work ... NOTHING! They will sit without a permanent source of income, and even a fickle one, drinking beer and smoking "noble grass", not having a penny of money, but even in front of each other, despite the fact that they have known each other for many, many years, from the same aul, village and collective farm, they still try to show those qualities and material benefits that are not even available. Show off each other like little children.

And their desire to look presentable? It is something! Having one old, worn, washed-out shirt, a suit with a reflection of a shiny coating and a tattered lining, and often one for all, without any desire to work for their own well-being, being content because of laziness with what they have, just not to work, they smoothed him to such an extent that he already glowed and was for them an indicator of wealth, self-importance and unshakable evidence that he was not a simple “hard worker”, but at least a “boss” and not of an average hand, but much higher.

I was able to make sure that the ability to "speak" for the sake of "speak" i.e. word for word's sake, not word for deed's sake, this is also an integral part of their genetics. They say EVERYTHING and a lot, I would say this: “Too much text”, but usually it doesn’t go beyond the conversation. They could talk about the need to do something in order to achieve certain levels and heights, they boldly made promises to each other “to find out tomorrow; work on the issue tomorrow; meet and connect tomorrow the right people”, etc., but, as a rule, tomorrow no one did anything, continuing to lie on the couch waiting for the refrigerator to be filled with food, and the house will have money for much-needed cafes and eateries where you can sit “over a cup tea"...

Regarding their fulfillment of the duties of a husband, to whom the Almighty entrusted each specific woman (in this paragraph, I do not touch on the topic of sex, they are “always and please”): understanding that a family needs to be supported, take care of the availability of food, or at least Money for their purchase, in principle, is absent. As well as the understanding that the spouse has a need for clothes, moreover, multi-season. Any conversation on this topic is abruptly suppressed by the phrase "everything will be." When asked when this event will happen, the answer is no less categorical “leave me alone with your whims, you already got it.” At the same time, there is always money for a “cup of tea”, a noble and so beloved grass and the 33rd pair of shoes with an elongated and pointed nose. I'm not talking about the fact that in addition to elementary duties, every Muslim, and Dagestanis very strongly and loudly declare their unshakable religiosity, is simply obliged to treat his wife well, take care of her inner peace, etc. Often at home, only one thing is heard: “rest, in short,” “stop these ridiculous conversations,” etc., and often in order to get away from discussing really important polls that shape the future relationship of spouses.

Now with regards to loyalty. This, of course, is wonderful that most of those Dagestanis with whom I was lucky to meet firmly follow the principle: “treason is a sin, I didn’t find myself in the garbage heap and it’s better to be alone than with just anyone,” the last phrase always led me in confusion in terms of what, apparently, other than "just anyone" on their life path and does not occur, in connection with which it is necessary to think about expanding the territories visited and to be more careful in choosing friends and girlfriends. At the same time, often, arriving in the capital of our Motherland, most of the Dagestan eagles are already firmly and firmly bound by marriage ties, strengthened by more than one child. Despite the presence of spouses entrusted to them, when they come to earn money, for some reason they forget too quickly why they came, and limit themselves to the occupation of local girls, and they do not disdain anything and no one.

For example, when we were walking along the street with my husband and his fellow countrymen, they very loudly discussed the girls passing by, whose skirts were at waist level, and their chests were not covered at all in any way, they pathetically spat after her, shouting insulting expressions, but at the same time time, each of them, having mastered the random rotation of his eyes, during the time until his spit reaches the ground, managed to “feel at the level of the fundus of the eye” everything that was not covered. And with luck, he managed to “get” the phone number of such a “goddess” and then starved him out, spending the last money on SMS messages in which he elevated her beauty to such heights, to which, in principle, only birds reach. Moreover, they perceived this as a “joke”, boasting at home to each other and sometimes reading aloud the messages of these, as they called them, “Russian chickens”.

All without exception are registered on dating sites, even on the dirtiest mobile chats, the essence of which is to send photos of various parts of the body, both women and men, with a request to “take a picture and send the chest in the right angle”, discussing the problems of frigidity, sexual intimacy with a partner, etc. At the same time, none of them paid attention to the fact that girls from both Dagestan and the Caucasus as a whole are also registered on these sites, taking no less active part in discussions of such topics. The men were in no way embarrassed that it turned out that he himself was spoiling his own nation, in the person of that Dagestan girl who sent him a photo of her naked figure. When I asked if they were sure that it wasn’t his wife who was talking to him under a different name, they “exploded” and started beating their chests, convincing me that THEIR girls were decent and they simply didn’t “hang out” on such sites they can, but the names "Heda, Zalina, Madina, Pati, etc." these are fictitious, and the indication of such cities as Makhachkala, Kizlyar, etc., does not mean that this is true.

Also, my observation showed that these men consider it their sacred duty to brighten up the loneliness of ALL girls, with the obligatory invitation of the latter to a cafe and an equally obligatory demonstration performance, expressed in the performance of the national dance “Lezginka”. Moreover, I completely agree with the author of the article, they dance lezginka always and everywhere, right up to metro stations, they start alone, to the noisy applause of the fellow countrymen present, and later it develops into a crowd of men waving their arms and legs, and if you're lucky, then by chance hooting who found themselves at the place of the dance of women, completely without thinking about the appropriateness of the ongoing action ...

It is possible to describe for a long time those actions or inactions that I directly witnessed during the period of my life with ex-husband, but I will limit myself to what has been said and summarize: the people I knew are distinguished by: 1) Falsity, and sometimes it seemed to me that they lie all the time and in everything, just like that, without even thinking, just to embellish themselves, wishful thinking , not to be ridiculed, to seem "cool", etc.; 2) Ponte - this is the place to be, apparently the majority simply have nothing to be proud of, nothing has been achieved, nothing has been worked out, and there is no desire to earn money, but I really want respect and honor; 3) Laziness - extremely lazy, work - this is for Tajiks and Uzbeks, and they can only lead, and also do not disdain to live and support women, if you're lucky, then not very old; 4) Debauchery - it feels like they were kept for a long time in a dark and cold pit called their native village and home, escaping from where, both men and women, just go crazy, confusing the banks and go into all serious trouble to satisfy their sexual interests, often not disdaining anything; 5) Extremely low requirements for the level and quality of relationships between spouses, a complete lack of elementary respect and care, and on both sides, their relationship can be more called consumer; 6) HUGE conceit and very high self-importance, which does not have the slightest reason or reason for it; 7) Drug dependence on herbs of various origins; 8) Increased pseudo-religiosity, which can be characterized by the phrase: "Muslims - one hand on the Koran, the other on a glass." When beer is drunk, all nonsense is smoked, the conversation inevitably turns to Islam, and this is accompanied by additional infusions of alcohol and smoking a “peace pipe” made from a plastic bottle.

Of course, there are decent and decent people among the Dagestanis, and, fortunately, there are many of them, but they are not noticeable due to moderation, and young people try to “keep up with the times”, gradually losing those personal qualities and features of the national culture, for which at all times the Caucasus was praised.

While we are here defending our right to the freedom and independence of a modern woman (and at the same time we are afraid to overdo it in our struggle), Anastasia Gosteva was among the 800 guests at the Dagestan wedding in Makhachkala. And she shared her experience with us.

The first day. Issue price

Two silver Mercedes rush along the mountain serpentine - honking to passing cars, cutting each other and slowing down dangerously close to the edge of the road. One of them jumps out into the oncoming lane and, in order to avoid a collision with a Zhiguli car flying towards him, slips between the checkpoint and the police fence. Miraculously, the surviving traffic cops do not try to catch up with the offender. A wedding in Dagestan is sacred. As long as everyone is alive, the Avars have the right to fair horse riding.

In addition to Mercedes, the wedding cortege consists of a Land Cruiser and a Cayenne, which, like in Moscow, comes as standard with a blonde in the cabin. True, here the blonde sits behind the wheel and in terms of dashing driving is not much inferior to men.

Rubles in a box and in a line

While the happy parents of Aida accept congratulations, at the very entrance, quietly and imperceptibly, perhaps the most important action takes place. At the set table, spreading a lined school notebook between plates and glasses, the bride's relatives collect money, putting it in a large plastic bag and entering the income data in neat handwriting - such and such gives young people 600 rubles, may Allah bless them for many years and send them they have as many sons as there were hairs in the beard of the Prophet. The same notebook, but in a box, will appear later at the groom's wedding. A Dagestan wedding is an honest taking of money from the population. It is believed that the minimum amount that is decent to give is 500 rubles. But most guests give 1000 or more. Moreover, if a guest is invited to both weddings, to the bride and the groom, he carries cash both there and there. If the families are not very wealthy, then the money collected at the bride's wedding remains with the bride's parents, and the money collected at the groom's wedding remains with the groom's parents. Those who live in abundance give everything to the young. Considering that a modest wedding involves at least 700-800 guests, young people never have to start the household from scratch.

In addition, all the money that the guests throw during the dance of the bride with the groom and the bride with the male guests also remains with the newlyweds. As a result, another 150-200 thousand are usually recruited.

- Listen, Marat, what is the average salary in Dagestan? I ask the groom's uncle as we turn off the gas to take a look at the Buynaksky pass. Falcons soar in a dazzling blue sky. The wind smells like the Caspian. Low mountains, overgrown with dilapidated small flowers, lie in large folds, like sharpei skin. From this serenity, media reports that Wahhabi militants hide here and blow up someone once a week seem like ridiculous propaganda.

- Well, ordinary people have 5 thousand.

- So, the parents of the newlyweds are not simple people?

- No, that you, of course, are simple. The groom's father is a taxi driver. Mom doesn't work. The bride's father is an engineer, and her mother is a cook in a cafe. So no one lives on a salary, everyone is spinning. And then, they prepare for the wedding from the birth of the children.

Three hours earlier, 350 people had gathered in the Venice banquet hall in the center of Makhachkala. At tightly packed tables, men and women sit separately, lapped together like peas in a pod. Old women in national clothes and with scarves on their heads they eat khinkal and look at the youth. Youth shoots eyes on the sides. Most of the girls, despite 43 degrees in the shade, are long and dark. From all sides comes: “Did you see how he looked at me? Whose relative is this? On tables - mineral water, fruits, dolma envelopes oozing oil and salads that are almost homemade in appearance and taste. Alcohol is not visible, but if the girls ask for champagne, they immediately bring it and pour it. And the girls, having sipped a couple of sips, go dancing in a flock.

At the head of the table in the center of the hall are the newlyweds, Omar and Aida. This is the wedding of the bride. Her parents and relatives, girlfriends and neighbors are here. From here the groom will take her to his wedding - to Buynaksk, to his guests and his family. In the meantime, the orchestra plays the lezginka and the toastmaster goes into eloquence, announcing the next number - the dance of the oriental beauty Leila, - and a girl of about 10 years old appears in the aisle between the tables, famously moving her hips and jingling her monists.

But now the bride and groom get up from the table - it's time to go to the second wedding. And soon the cortege rushes, deafeningly honking, through the streets of Makhachkala - past billboards on which the Butyrka group presents "the best hits in 10 years", past Phoenix grilled chickens, the Magic Donald restaurant and the Arafat Islamic clothing store , past the Khrushchev five-story buildings, tiled in the Arabic style, and cows grazing by the roadside - the east is the east.

And when, an hour later, we find ourselves in another banquet hall with shifted tables, khinkal, Pinocchio soda, but now expensive alcohol, everything repeats itself - toasts, lezginka and money flying up.

Aida steps into the center of the circle in a latte-coloured dress with puffed sleeves. Her face, white with powder, is almost motionless, red curls fall on bare - for the last time - shoulders. Without looking at anyone, she moves between the men who jump out in front of her in a dance. Crumpled hundred-ruble notes fall underfoot, and children rush after them, as if after balls at Wimbledon.

Second day. Men and women

Initially, Aida was not going to marry Omar. They met a year ago - Aida's neighbor married a friend of Omar. And then he began to look after her, and she realized: “He is my man. It was my decision." In Dagestan, where arranged marriages still exist, this is important.

She speaks the truth or observes the tradition - do not understand. Local girls are brought up with the idea that men should achieve them. “If the guy wants to, he will figure out how to find me,” Aida's friend explains to me. Such confidence can exist only in a city where everyone is brothers, kunaks and neighbors to each other.

Are you supposed to be afraid of your husband? I ask Aida.

- Afraid? - she's confused. No, you have to be respectful. The family gives a sense of security. We are taught from childhood that marriage requires patience and humility. Every girl knows that she will grow up, get married and take care of her husband.

I am also assured that every girl knows that her husband will be the only man in her life - local women hold on to their innocence as firmly as men hold on to their oil. Which is logical: both are the privatization of mineral resources, an irrefutable argument in future matchmaking.

Dad, give me!

The issue of dowry and bride price is discussed during the matchmaking. The groom's parents must provide young people with housing - a separate apartment or their own rooms in the house. They also buy jewelry for the bride and a whole suitcase of clothes. "I got it as a gift mink coat Black Lama - knee-length, with a hood, very beautiful, and also gold - a chain, bracelets, a ring and earrings with diamonds, boots, shoes and bags, underwear, in general, all clothes - winter and summer, - lists Aida. - Dressed from and to, so I did not even take anything from my parents' house. Over time, of course, I will go there, pick up something, distribute something, but so far I don’t need anything.”

The bride's parents buy furniture - a kitchen, a bedroom, a living room - and everything that is needed in the household: from bed linen to a toilet brush. Start saving money from the birth of children. Mothers of little boys proudly say that they have already prepared all the gold for future wives.

I met, found out that I was from Dagestan. And how she brought everything down on me, as if she had written a statement to the police. And for me to take action. All this with a white tuft on the back of her head and blue lenses. Ibraska's victim.
At the end, I covered my eyes with my hand. Better to keep your mouth shut though. I really wanted to laugh. But one had to sympathize and explain Ibrahim's behavior by mental differences and the historical conditionality of these differences. I think I even said "different culture" and "don't try to measure yourself". I held my face for a long time. His and some Ibrahim. Hold me now.

Shorter! In the summer, she flew to Dagestan on a business trip. There she met HIM and HE was great. Hospitable, gallant, generous and ash stump - hot. And yet it ... tireless. Her Nordic body overheated, all the gray matter in her brain burned out. Yes, to hell with it. And she decided that Dagestan is her personal paradise. Oh the sea, oh the fish, oh the horses in the mountains. What other horses!
At the airport, he said that he would fly out for her almost on the next plane. Arrived two months later. Settled in, put a kumganchik in the toilet. I threw sports bags next to the bed and began to run around the markets, shops and "business" meetings. Who will condemn him? He reacted to the offer to “stay at home” with statements like “I don’t have sex in the light, why just lie there?” He actively involved her in the search for the spare parts he needed and telephone business negotiations ("talk culturally"). Then he attracted me to run around the European and all sorts of places like that.

And so, I give him HIS bag, and he says: WE DO NOT CARRY BAGS IN OUR MEN!

And she's heavy!

Two hours later he took pity and decided to help carry his bag. And then Oh! HORROR! met SOMEONE!
He turned white, got angry, explained all this inexplicably: THIS IS MY VILLAGE WOMAN!
- What does it mean?
In the restaurant (to which SHE took him) he refused to put her fur coat on her, said that Caucasian men do not do this. Basically. Then they met his friend. A friend was with his official girlfriend.
- And this despite the fact that I know very well that he is married! His wife handed over money with the bus, I met “Gardener” in the car at some market, we called up with her ... and it turns out that he also has a girlfriend.
Little of. HE WEARED A COAT ON HER! How did Ibrashka explain this?
- He is a Kumyk, they can.

Kumyk - who is this? - the defenseless blonde asked me, tired of the diversity of the Dagestan ethno-palette.

Well, the climax. An important concert for her in the concert hall of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. She dresses up, prepares to demonstrate the Dagestan alpha male to her colleagues (so that they all die of envy and suffocate in his pheramones). And he saw where it was (it's not a Temple, it's a concert hall) and accused her of FORCING HIM TO SIN!

He drinks, smokes, lives with me, his friends have GIRLS with living wives and only MY CONCERT was a sin!

Tears, reconciliation, his departure ... He promised to be there soon, promised to bring cognac ...

She gets ready, buys new panties. Duro.

What could I say?

Well, if you endure, then there is something for ...

This text came to us as a reader's response to a note by Dagestani Bashir Magomedov "Why I don't like Dagestani." But we decided that both in terms of volume and quality of the text it would be more correct to put this, another private observation, on a separate page of the site.

This is a private view. Perhaps not all Dagestanis (especially since Dagestan is populated different nations), but on the group with which the author of the note had a chance to communicate closely. Moreover, we are sure that the majority of those Dagestanis who continue to live and work in their native land differ for the better from the heroes of this text. By no means do we intend to offend anyone with this post. We want to understand. And the Dagestanis themselves may be interested in looking at themselves from the outside.

Hello, let me also express my opinion about the Dagestanis and Dagestanis, based on life experience. My opinion is subjective and personal, the conclusions are made on the basis of what I saw and heard during my marriage to a Dagestan, and are presented exclusively from a female point of view))). I myself am a Tatar, I live and work in Moscow. Head covering, modest clothing - this is a must for me, as in principle, for all Muslim girls. When we met my future husband, a Dagestani, he talked about Islam, read namaz, often remembered the Almighty, and this affected my choice. I “bought” and sincerely rejoiced, thanks to ALLAH for the fact that I met my man, whom both the head covering and the absence of bare parts of the body not only attracted, but, it seemed to me, delighted.

We made the decision to get married. We went to the mosque, where the nikah was read, after which my husband safely moved to my apartment for permanent residence. From that moment on, I got the opportunity to learn more about him and his kindred environment, since I had previously seen Caucasians (without attaching importance to Dagestanis, Chechens, Ossetians, etc.) only in films and only from the positive side).

I won’t say anything, their hospitality and respect for elders pleased me, but in everything else - alas. While reading, I even smiled at how accurately everything was described and 100% applicable to my now ex-husband, as well as to his “brothers” and countrymen whom I met. Especially regarding PONTS - this is something special, it even seems to me, laid down at their genetic level. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter at whose expense and at what cost, but each of them believed that he simply had to be cooler than the other, while they themselves were deeply confident in their superiority over others, even without having anything, neither education nor work...NOTHING! They will sit with a bare “zh ... d”, without a permanent source of income, and even a fickle one, drinking beer and smoking “noble grass”, not having a penny of money, but at the same time even in front of each other, despite the fact that that they have known each other for many, many years, from the same aul, village and collective farm, they are trying to show those qualities and material benefits that are not even available, showing off in front of each other like small children.

And their desire to look presentable? This is something)) Having one old, worn, washed-out shirt, a suit with a reflection of a shiny coating and a tattered lining, and often one for all, without any desire to work for their own well-being, being content because of laziness with what they have , just not to work, they smoothed him to such an extent that he already shone and was for them an indicator of wealth, self-worth and unshakable evidence that he was not a simple “hard worker”, but at least a “boss” and not of an average hand, but much higher.

I was able to make sure that the ability to "speak" for the sake of "speak" i.e. word for word's sake, not word for deed's sake, this is also an integral part of their genetics. They say EVERYTHING and a lot, I would say this: “Too much text”, but usually it doesn’t go beyond the conversation. They can talk about the need to do something in order to achieve certain levels and heights, they boldly made promises to each other “to find out tomorrow; work on the issue tomorrow; tomorrow to meet and connect the right people, ”etc., but, as a rule, tomorrow no one did anything, continuing to wallow on the sofa waiting for the refrigerator to be filled with food, and the house will have money for much-needed cafes and eateries, where you can sit "over a cup of tea" ...

With regard to their fulfillment of the duties of a husband, to whom the Almighty entrusted each specific woman (in this paragraph, I do not touch on the topic of sex, they are “always and please”): understanding that a family needs to be supported, take care of the availability of food or at least money for them purchase, in principle, is absent, as is the understanding that the spouse has a need for clothing, and multi-season. Any conversation on this topic is abruptly suppressed by the phrase "everything will be." When asked when this event will happen, the answer is no less categorical “leave me alone with your whims, you already got it.” At the same time, there is always money for a “cup of tea”, a noble and so beloved grass and the 33rd pair of shoes with an elongated and pointed nose. I'm not talking about the fact that in addition to elementary duties, every Muslim, and Dagestanis very strongly and loudly declare their unshakable religiosity, is simply obliged to treat his wife well, take care of her inner peace, etc. Often at home, only one thing is heard: “rest, in short,” “stop these ridiculous conversations,” etc., and often in order to get away from discussing really important issues that shape the future relationship of the spouses.

Now, with regards to fidelity: it is, of course, wonderful that most of those Dagestanis with whom I was lucky enough to meet firmly follow the principle: “treason is a sin, I didn’t find myself in the garbage heap and it’s better to be alone than with just anyone”, the last the phrase has always confused me in terms of the fact that, apparently, except for “anyone” on their life path, they don’t meet, and therefore it is necessary to think about expanding the territories visited and be more careful in choosing friends and girlfriends. At the same time, often, while staying in the capital of our Motherland, most of the Dagestan eagles are already firmly and firmly bound by marriage ties, strengthened by more than one child. Despite the presence of spouses entrusted to them, when they come to earn money, for some reason they forget too quickly why they came, and limit themselves to the occupation of local girls, and they do not disdain anything and no one.

For example, when we were walking along the street with my husband and his countrymen, they very loudly discussed the girls passing by, whose skirts were at waist level, and their chests were not covered at all in any way, pathetically “spitting” after her, shouting insulting expressions, but at the same time, each of them, having mastered the random rotation of his eyes, during the time until his spit reaches the ground, managed to “feel at the level of the fundus” everything that was clearly not covered. And with luck, he managed to “get” the phone number of such a “goddess” and then starved him out, spending the last money on SMS messages in which he elevated her beauty to such heights, to which, in principle, only birds reach. Moreover, they perceived this as a “joke”, boasting at home to each other and sometimes reading aloud the messages of these, as they called them, “Russian chickens”.

Now about women. I often visited my husband’s homeland, and, accordingly, I also entered the houses of his fellow villagers, where I had the honor to see the following: women, for the most part, are completely alone in their marriage, although it seemed to me that this does not upset them at all for that reason that each of them is sure that her noble husband went to work, and the fact that financial results his departure from home is not visible, due to the lack of work, but not the absence of her husband's desire to work. Most of the women support their household and children on a very modest amount sent by their husbands, and even then not regularly. Despite the prevailing opinion that women THERE are packed with husbands and play the role of exclusively a servant, it is not true. Everything is much better than they say. I can confidently say that ladies have great patience and restraint, but, in turn, I explain this by the fact that living in a village where everyone knows each other, everyone is practically relatives, does not give them the opportunity to “turn around”, because . there is a real opportunity to "get a hat." Although everything has a place to be, it's just more carefully hidden. The men themselves tell how, when and for whom they stopped by and right “under the nose of their husband” and used it.

Another thing is to leave, for example, to Moscow. I will give an example that I personally witnessed: we were traveling home on the Makhachkala-Moscow train, both men and modest Dagestan women were present in the carriage, dressed according to decency - in headscarves, long skirts. As the train approached Moscow, the women miraculously changed: they took off their headscarves, long skirts they changed to short and tight ones, and those who were bolder - to tight trousers, painted their lips with red lipstick and periodically jumped out into the vestibule to smoke, and some hid at short stops behind trees and buildings, greedily sipping cigarette smoke. Upon arrival in Moscow, quite modernly dressed women came out of the car, whose nationality could only be judged by the Caucasian type of appearance.

I often see how women / girls who came from Dagestan, do not hesitate to put on such revealing clothes, in which it is a shame to walk at home; how quickly they succumb to the influence of a "free" life, not burdened by the guardianship and vigilance of relatives and friends, in which you can afford everything you want. Forgetting about shame, about their destiny to bring beauty, decency, how little they really value themselves and how low they fall, escaping from supervision, trying to imitate and “surpass” Russian girls in their sexuality, and all this happens with the connivance of their the same men who, instead of making a remark, to shame, encourage her actions, even simply by not paying attention to what is happening. One not very young person of Dagestan blood just said that it was difficult to “compete” with the Russians, but you really want to show what she has herself, put it on public display, and to my question: “do you want to become common?” , she just smiled a meaningful smile, allowing you to draw conclusions about the positivity of her answer.

It is possible to describe for a long time those actions or inactions that I directly witnessed during the period of my life with my ex-husband, but I will limit myself to what has been said and summarize: the people I knew are distinguished by: 1) Falsity, and sometimes it seemed to me that they were constantly lying and in everything, just like that, without even thinking, just to embellish yourself, wishful thinking, not to be ridiculed, to seem like a "cool", etc.; 2) Ponte - this cannot be taken away, this is the place to be, apparently the majority simply have nothing to be proud of, nothing has been achieved, nothing has been worked out, and there is no desire to earn money, but I really want respect and honor; 3) Laziness is extremely lazy, work is for Tajiks and Uzbeks, and they can only lead, and men also do not disdain to live on the support of women, if you are lucky, then not very old; 4) Debauchery - it feels like they were kept for a long time in a dark and cold pit called their native village and home, escaping from where, both men and women, just go crazy, confusing the banks and go to all serious troubles to satisfy their sexual interests, often not disdaining anything; 5) Extremely low requirements for the level and quality of relationships between spouses, a complete lack of elementary respect and care, and on both sides, their relationship can be more called consumer; 6) HUGE conceit and very high self-importance, which does not have the slightest reason or reason for it; 7) Drug dependence on herbs of various origins; 8) Increased pseudo-religiosity, which can be characterized by the phrase: "Muslims - one hand on the Koran, the other on a glass." When beer is drunk, all nonsense is smoked, the conversation inevitably turns to Islam, and this is accompanied by additional infusions of alcohol and smoking a “peace pipe” made from a plastic bottle.

I want to tell my story. I met a guy, he is a Lezgin. We are both 25 years old. Initially, I was drawn to him with an unknown force, although I never thought that I would contact a Caucasian. Everything was so perfect for the first months, I fell in love with him, and he fell in love with me. He talked about the wedding, about the children, that he wants all this with me, that he himself will decide with whom he will be, but he did not know how to present all this to his parents. I decided to come from afar and talked with my father's uncle, who at one time married a Russian, because she became pregnant, but all the same, the relatives were not enthusiastic. Uncle approved of his choice, said that he would bring me to meet after the new year. But who is Uncle, he does not decide anything. In general, one fine day, when most of the relatives gathered at home for the holiday, my beloved decided to talk to his parents and tell about me. I don’t know the details, but as I understand it, they rinsed his brains out and he began to slowly move away from me. He said that he was forced to marry his as soon as possible. And that he will go soon to get acquainted, but promised to steer it all. I was in shock, in fact, he just left me, but continued to write. I sobbed for several days, after which he came and asked if I was ready to go far, I replied that anything, just to be with him. It seems that our relationship began to improve. I already calmly accepted the idea that he would go to the "bride" to get acquainted, because he had a plan, as he said, and I completely believed him. And then one day I found out that I was pregnant! I am shocked! I wrote to him that I need to meet and talk. As a result, we met, I got into his car, I was shaking ... I knew that he would not be delighted with such news at this particular time period. When I told him, he changed his face and started screaming. It was like, “WHAT?!! Are you serious? I f*ck! I’ll leave soon and get married, and what are you going to be a single mother? To say that I was shocked is an understatement. He began to start the car and said that we would go now to his parents, I said no, let me out of the car, I have to go. He said you are not going anywhere else. Then I vaguely remember how he screamed. In the end, I did run away. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and definitely not ready to go to his parents. Returning home, I felt bad and I called an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital and given 3 weeks. I didn't know what to do next. I had no work and no help, there was a stupor. It was the most terrible period in my life. All I wanted was to die. My beloved wrote me all sorts of nasty things, it hurt even more. He insisted on an abortion, said that he would not live with me, although just a month before that, he began to transport his things to me in order to live together. It was very painful. And I decided on honey. abortion. He gave me money and I told him to forget about my existence forever. But he showed up from time to time. He wrote something like: “darling, tell me that it’s all just a bad dream, that it’s not true. Why can't we be together, I can't live without you." But I ignored his every word. I had such a strong hatred for this man, for this traitor, that I did not want to hear about him. After some time, he began to write about his suicide. But since my feelings for this person have not cooled down, I decided to meet with him, to look into his eyes. I didn't hear anything new. After a while, the meeting again and again the same thing. I decided to overpower myself and put a bold cross on our communication. I saw and knew that he monitors all my social networks, writes texts about unhappy love and so on. When he showed up again, I asked him to disappear from my life. We haven't seen each other for a long time. And the other day he showed up again, came to me. We spent several hours together and everything flared up again. He said that he could not live long with his wife and pretend. That he will come up with something and we will be together. On the one hand, I understand him, he cannot go against the family, he is brought up like that, but on the other hand ... apparently he doesn’t love me so much, since he is not ready to do anything in order to be together. Now I think it's time to end this story, there will be nothing good there. Find a Russian guy and marry him, settle down and live in peace.